I had a school-wide faculty after-school meeting this week on Wednesday afternoon — one that we were not notified we’d be having until Tuesday afternoon. (As if we don’t have actual lives outside of this place.) And why?
Cause there was some really important stuff to go over. Like hall passes.
We literally spent 23 minutes discussing the proper implementation of granting hall passes. Which hall pass to assign. When they should be assigned. When they should not be assigned. How many of them can be assigned. How we are now supposed to keep track of who we are granting hall passes to so now, when a kid asks to use the restroom, we are supposed to stop everything we are doing, get out our “Accountability of the hall pass” sheet of paper, and note who took the pass so, in case someone absconds with the hall pass, we know who the last kid to have the hall pass was.
Because apparently, hall pass abduction is on the rise. And sophisticated classroom discussions on the theme of oppression throughout the ages as evidenced in a cross section of texts by international authors easily afford the opportunity to start-n-stop to do menial book-keeping like making sure that I note that Jenny took the hall pass because she is menstruating!!
(But at least she’s not pregnant… alas, I drift.)
Never mind the ditching on campus. Never mind the fire alarms being pulled. Never mind the graffiti, the truancy, the tardiness, the lack of homework, the immense need for more parental support, the fact that there’s always a 15 minute line to use the faculty photocopier (when it’s working) and on and on and on.
Hall passes are now a major concern and damn it, we are going to beat this problem… as a team!
It was practically a surreal experience for me, sitting through this hall pass certification training process. But trumping the fact that our admins were spending our precious planning/professional/life time so ludicrously was the shocking sight of seeing so many teachers with their hands up waiting to ask questions about hall passes once the admins had concluded their section of the day’s preposterousness.
Will we be getting special hall passes for the nurse?
Are the library hall passes good for more than one student?
Can we color code the hall passes so that we know which department issued the hall pass?
Every time I think the admins are acting foolishly I look out to my peers and think, Aw Geesh, please put your hand down.
Am I the only one who knows that the golden rule of long, silly staff meeting is to NEVER raise your hand to ask a question because it only prolongs the pain?
BTW, school started six weeks ago, I have about 10,000 hours of work to do in terms of grading and lesson planning and trying to bring in a new unit on Body Language to tie to some oral presentations I want to have my students give later this month and we’re talking about freakin’ hall passes for 23 minutes well after 4:00 p.m. on a Wednesday afternoon after I’ve been at school since before the light of day?
My Freakin’ School is Wastin’ My Freakin’ Time!!!