Alan Lawrence Sitomer

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He is beloved. And he’s my grandfather.

December 12, 2010 By Alan Sitomer 8 Comments

Today I am throwing a surprise 90th birthday for my grandfather, Alvin Lester Sitomer.

My name is Alan Lawrence Sitomer… I was named after him. (Naming after the living is a somewhat dicey call… let my own life be a warning to you – LOL!)

I am not sure I can put into words as to the degree of positive impact this man has had on my personality, belief system or character. And for me to try right now will only leave me feeling as if I have done an inadequate job, so I will not.

(NOTE; it also feels as if it might have a sense of a pre-death eulogy aspect to it and as morbid as that may sound, he is 90, his health is “so so” and this weekend might be the last time I ever see him. However, I feared that 2 years ago as well when we last parted – he lives on the east coast – and I was wrong then so perhaps I will be incorrect now as well.)

Either way it’s a trip of love lined by melancholy. No one escapes the cycle of life. Not even the ones we most adore. And watching role models age – and becoming the caretaker for those who used to be our sole source of strength – well, it’s tough. (Yep, I am the one who does it all. My own father – his son – passed in 1994 and his other son, well… let’s just say it’s with honor and a spirit of love that I currently do the duty. No need to jump into family closets.)

Probably my greatest joy will be the fact that I get to bring my 4 year old daughter to see and hang out with her great-grandfather. He was a master story-teller in his day. (The sun sets on us all, I fear.) But if there is a reason I love STORY, a reason I love heroes and villains and people with guts and fortitude and determination, it certainly began with me sitting transfixed at his knee hearing him weaves tales that made me never want to grow up or leave his side. Zorro, Robin Hood, people who fought for social justice (now that I am old enough to look back and see themes – which, BTW, carry over into my own teaching and writing to this day) those are the stories which moved his soul… and in the telling of them, he moved mine.

As a lawyer, one of his greatest strengths was always oration. And a keen, keen mind.

I’d go on but I guess it’s a discombobulated post today. One filled with non-persued threads and feelings of sadness and longing, accented by love and wistfulness. Like a salad with lots of ingredients – colors and flavors – yet perhaps not really an all that edible dish.

Grandpa Alvin was married 67 years to my Grandma Dorothy… she passed about 2 years ago.

Here’s a pic of me making a trip to introduce them to my own daughter, back in 2010.

Grandpa Alvin is not only the most generous man I know… he’s almost always been the most generous man anyone who knows him knows. Literally, he always had time to be kind, offer wisdom and extend smiles and inspire hope.

Perhaps my greatest goal in this world was to one day be able to carry his water. He is beloved. And he’s my grandfather.

Phew… tough trip, this is.

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: belief system, birthday, cycle of life, daughter, grandfather, Grandpa, greatest joy, heroes and villains, master story teller, reason

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  • Anonymous

    Alan,

    This was, by no means, a discombobulated post. As a person who lost many loved ones at a young age, beginning with 14 of my grandmother’s siblings and family members in the Holocaust and my own father when I was twelve (certainly on the cusp, if not already leaning into, puberty), I can relate to all that you wrote. I grew up quickly and became the family historian, if you will. My grandmother never allowed me to write any names or stories down (left over flashback-stuff from hiding I believe) so committing everything to memory was all I could try to do. My father, on the other hand, loved the written word and reading. I still have an earlier pocket-style notebook he carried to write down ideas, proverbs and such. Throughout the years, I have become the eulogy-writer (mused over the idea that a Eulogies-R-US would probably do well) and more recently requested to sing favorite songs of those who have passed. It’s surreal and real all at the same time. It has made me a person who not necessarily lives each day as if it were my last (daily life-stuff often gets in the way of how I imagine that should be) but certainly is hyper-aware and knows that tomorrow is not promised to me or anyone I love. And that does carry a weight, feelings “lined with love and melancholy.” Not everyone reflects on it, you know, not until they are forced to…

    I wish you time.

    Cari

  • LAM Brewster

    OMG! Too cute! I have Aunts in their 90s (they mostly live in Arizona)… There must be something very special about this generation…They are all just too dog gone happy all the time. Wonder what’s their secret?

  • Joseph derosa

    When I was in my late teens I met Alvin through a friend. My mom needed a lawyer and he was it.(thid was in nyc when he had offices on Fifth avenue.  In My early twenties, I kept in touch with him via the mail I was in the USAF and he made time in his very busy life t communicate with me, in my mind  he was counselor, my big brother. On his every word I listened out of great respect. After my discharge we had a luncheon date and when he heard that I was interested in a writing-prodcing caree in Hollywood he offered to give me an introduction to the firm of Lancaster, hill & Hecht, as a gofer to start, A that time I was accepted to UCLA. I never took him up on the offer. A few years later in represented mr as an attorney wnen I became in volved in a Mfg. firm. After my graduating from a college in Connecticut. I truly wish him well in hie longgivity of life. God Bles him and you all, his family.
    josephderosa@optonline.net
         

  • Alan Sitomer

    Thanks for the note, Joseph.

    All my best,

    Alan

    Alan Lawrence Sitomer
    California Teacher of the Year, 2007
    & author of Disney’s New Picture Book
    DADDIES DO IT DIFFERENT
    (a GREAT GIFT FOR FATHER’S DAY)
    Learn more about all my books at http://www.AlanSitomer.com

  • Angela

    Dear Alan,

    I knew your grandfather only by telephone but he was one the kindest men I’ve ever had the pleasure of speaking with.  I worked in the Virginia Beach Circuit Court Probate Office in the late 90’s when I was fortunate enough to get his phone call. He was representing a client and needed assistance with Virginia probate law and our process. When the estate was finally wrapped up, your grandfather sent me a beautiful bracelet as a thank you gift. I was touched by his generousity, but even more so that he called me every year to either wish me a happy birthday or just to check up on how I was doing.  I lost touch with him when I left but have thought of him often over the years.  In fact, I still wear his bracelet to this day.  I know he passed away early this year and I am so sorry that I did not hear of it at the time.  It is clear though that his kindness and compassion is something that he has passed on.  You are so right, he was the most generous man and will forever impact the lives of those that he touched. May your life be as blessed as his obviously was.

    Sincerely,

    Angela Garrow (fka Angela McRae)

  • Emily Rushforth

    Hello Alan,

    Not sure if this will be successful, however, I work for Attorney Vito F. Canuso in Philadelphia and we have a Client who is attempting to contact your Grandfather, Alvin Lester Sitomer, Esq., as he previously prepared Wills for his Father. If you do see this comment, could you please call our office at 2157355260? I can not find your Grandfather’s current contact information and would very much appreciate your assistance. Hope to hear from you soon!

    Emily Rushforth

    PS- Congratulations on your baby Girl, she is Beautiful! 

  • Jillian

    Alvin is his sister Beatrice?

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