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Posts Tagged ‘writing’

Hey aspiring writers, wanna save $50,000? I got a little secret…

Posted on September 2, 2011 at 5:01 AM by Alan Sitomer

Hey aspiring writers, wanna save $50,000? I got a little secret: Skip the MFA program and get yourself a library card.

Before the hate mail launches look, I don’t think for a moment that I just launched any kind of crippling blow to the oh-so-explosive, for-profit industry of MFA Programs in Creative Writing. And I do believe there are certainly some classes, courses, teachers, and so on who very much offer something awesome. However, yesterday I blogged about how I went into the local branch of my library for the first time in a wee bit too long and realized (for the 10,000th time) that these guys are offering the moon. Free. Absolutely free.

See, to be a writer, one must write. No school can get you to do that; it’s all self-determination. And if you are self-determined enough to actually put your butt in a chair and write a book then you also probably have the self-determination to actually read a book, as well. Therefore, being that an MFA program could cost as much as 50K I say, “Take a shot at reading all the books on writing that your local library offers and then see if you still need/want an MFA. At worst, you’ll be the most well-prepared student ever to set foot in an MFA classroom. At best, I just saved you a couple of years and a heck of a lot of money.”

Actually, it was the library that saved you the cash-o-la because they are offering a free creative writing class right now – an awesome one, too – as taught by some of the best professors of writing of all time. (And did I mention it’s at zero cost to the student – above sweat equity, that is? Just want to make sure I cover that.)

Norman Mailer, Stephen King, Anne Lamott, Orson Scott Card, Albert Zuckerman, Lajos Egri, Aristotle, Robert McKee, Lew Hunter, Linda Seger, Ray Bradbury, Christopher Vogler… need I go on? I just listed a dozen writing teachers  and could offer you a dozen more in a heartbeat. If you haven’t read these authors you probably aren’t well-enough prepared to enter an MFA program and if you have read all these authors you will probably find that an MFA program’s best offering to you is workshop space where you can have other aspiring writers read and critique your work (while you do the same for them).

It’s called a writer’s group. For that try Craigslist. Or Google. Or a local library. Some branches even offer those as well.

It’s not that there is no value in “the lecture hall”. But so many people feel they have to drop out of their life, take on zillions of dollars in student loans and spend a coupla years on a college campus to learn what is essentially quite learnable with a touch of gumption and a willingness to return books without incurring too many late fees.

Now, could it also not be argued that any other major offered by a university is also thus available in the same manner? Yes, it could. And yes, it is. However, a college degree has weight in the paper. Filling out a job application and having a college diploma trumps not having one 9 times out of 10. Engineer, lawyer, doctor, accountant, teacher, architect, economist, hedge fund manager, the list goes on and on. But in the world of book publishing, a degree from Oxford, a PhD from Harvard plus a papal coronation of meritorious achievement from (dare I say it) Iowa at best will get you to the top of the slush pile. Degrees mean practically nothing in the world of publishing; having some sort of literary chops does and acquiring those through the study of fiction writing can be had at no cost to those with the fire in their belly.

And to those who do not have the fire in their belly, chances are probably slim to none that they will ever see the publication of book #2 (even if they manage to bang out a book #1) because to be a writer one has gotta have some kinda hunger. Save the cash, support your local library and go get a free, high quality education.

Matter of fact, in preparation for my next book, I just decided to take a few courses on the always available schedule myself. Next up, a class on Scene and Structure from Jack Bickham, a guy who published more than 80 novels in his lifetime.

I say save your money, value your time and get a library card. And if that 50K is really burning a hole in your wallet, go ahead and donate it to the local library… they sure could use the support these days.

Oh how the spy pen is so much more mighty than the sword.

Posted on October 14, 2010 at 5:00 AM by Alan Sitomer

Silver penAt what point is my privacy protected? And even if it is violated legally, is there even such a thing as reparations in the courts that would satisfy me should I be egregiously abused online.

I mean check this out. It’s a spy pen. For forty bucks I can buy a video camera that looks like a simple writing utensil. This means that I can perform a little bit of “gotya journalism” more readily than ever. You just take somebody out of context when they did not even know they were being recorded, upload it to the web (whereby a potential audience of millions can see it) and poof!… Worlds change.

Think about it. Careers of people you don’t like can more easily be ripped down. Reputations of people you want to burn can more easily be torn asunder. Marriages are more vulnerable to innuendo than ever.

And in the living archeology that is the internet, once it’s up, it almost never comes down.

We are practically living in an age where it doesn’t matter if your rights are being violated because the damage can (and will be, in some cases) so immediately great that adjudication of the matter in the wheels-of-justice-turn-slowly courts is practically moot.

Cyberbullying might feel like a recent phenomenon but I have a feeling we are just seeing the start of a new wave of calamity.

The ain’t-no-real-justice-to-be-had wave.

Oh how the spy pen is so much more mighty than the sword.

The absolute folly of bubble tests WIDELY exposed!!

Posted on March 23, 2010 at 7:50 AM by Alan Sitomer

As a teacher, I have always known that I just do not like high stakes bubble tests. However, I am not very articulate when it comes to defining the reasons why.

It’s like I know but I don’t know, ya know?

Well, read this. I have never seen the folly of the bubble tests exposed in a more lucid, “I can’t believe how ridiculous these things are” manner.

I’ll keep my own writing short today so you can read the link. Just incredible!!

I’ve now even blogged about blogging.

Posted on February 18, 2010 at 5:30 AM by Alan Sitomer

I saw Jim Burke at CATE the other day and he mentioned how nicely blogging works within the scope of all the other writing he does.

And he particularly likes the groove he’s fallen into with it as of late.

Funny how I greatly enjoy blogging as well. Truth is, many people told me I should “blog” (whatever the heck that meant) as far back as 2007… but I wasn’t really into it. Wasn’t sure if I’d have anything to say or be able to stick with it or find any joy in it or what not.

Truth is, now that I have been at it for well over a year, I am a bit amazed at my ability to be prolific without really sacrificing any other meaningful part of my life.

Heck, I don’t know what I was doing before I was blogging – probably sleeping (LOL!) – but nowadays I find blogging to be a tool which keeps me sharp as a writer. After all, I must crank out almost 2,000 words a week just for blogs alone — and they can be about anything I want them to be about.

I’ve blogged about politicians, farts, assessment, writing, violence, books, dysfunction, friends, and on and on and on.

Heck, I’ve now even blogged about blogging.

If I do the math of it all, I see this: 2,000 words per week for at least 45 weeks this year is 90,000 words — that’s a 500 page novel I’ve written, easy! (A 500 page novel that I am, btw, not publishing. I mean who’s gonna want to read a book about farting politicians as they dysfunctionally craft policy for school assessment? I know, I know, I’d be surprised.)

The point is, more people should try it. Blogging keeps me sharp as a writer. Muscles that are used stay in better shape than muscles which are too well-rested.

I should know. I just finished yet another new children’s book which my agent read last night and loved… another notch coming in the belt, it looks like.

Blogging doesn’t come at the expense of other writing… blogging, ironically enough, seems to liberate writing.

Whoudda thunk-it?

Is it okay…

Posted on July 30, 2009 at 5:30 AM by Alan Sitomer

Is it okay to have limitations?

Is it okay not to be the most cutting edge, 21rst century tool wielding teacher on the planet without having aspersions cast on my professionalism?

Is it okay to not be the most phenomenal teacher of persuasive writing, expository writing, autobiographical writing, compare and contrast writing and creative writing ever to hold a dry erase marker?

Is it okay to feel hurt when my kids feel hurt by the budget cuts, impacted classrooms and the sense of facelessness which my kids all-too-often feel in the halls of state’s schools?

Is it okay to feel sad when the fights break out?

Is it okay to feel triumphant when Jesus shows up for class three days in a row… and even has his homework for a change?

Is it okay to feel regret about the dismissal of the Year 2 teacher that got laid off just when it seemed she was starting to really get a handle on this whole “teaching” thing even though there are educators in our midst who should have hung up their spurs long ago to make way for a new crowd of eager, excited and talented young guns?

Is it okay to feel “stung” by the inanity of weight being placed on bubble tests?

Is it okay to want to close my door and just spend some time working with my kids serving their own best interests as I best interpret them based on all my years of experience and study without having to answer to a VP who doesn’t seem as if he could teach my class nearly as effectively as I teach my class should he ever be charged with the task of doing so?

Is it okay to simply recognize that wearing the hat of parent, friend, mentor, coach, teacher, social worker, and task-master — all at different times, without much rhyme nor reason to the order upon which these demands will be thrust onto me — is kinda hard without sounding like a whiner? (And kinda sets me up to not always be “incredibly great” 24/7?)

Is it okay to do the best I can… even when the best I can doesn’t feel like it’s good enough to solve all the problems I hope to solve?

Is it okay to even give voice to these fears — or am I to pretend that “I always have it all under control”?

Is it okay to show concern for the fact that California has just sliced its education funding in a historically unprecedented manner?

Is it okay if I still want to remain optimistic about what I do for a living despite the tenor of this blog because I know that without hope, faith and belief in the future, I am all too aware that I should hang up my own spurs, if for no other reason than the good of the kids?

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