A Scholastic Author
A Disney Author

Posts Tagged ‘truth is stranger’

My search for the wittiest writer. (Mark Twain)

Posted on July 12, 2011 at 5:01 AM by Alan Sitomer

I’ve always been drawn to a well-turned phrase. Especially one marked by wit. And when I look back at some of the most keen in history, a few great ones perpetually pop up.

But who was the wittiest? Well, Shakespeare might be impossible to beat but putting the Bard aside for the time being, let’s take a look at a few of the contenders.

So far, I have entered Will Rogers, Oscar Wilde and Winston Churchill into the conversation. Today, Mark Twain.

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.

I think Twain’s sense of humor might be in the top three of all American’s ever to set ink to paper. The guy just let ‘em fly in a way that still gets us laughing more than 100 years after he hit us over the head with his words.

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

And his advice on living life, well… who could argue?

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.


Don’t tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don’t tell them where they know the fish.


Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

As a writer, he spoke about the craft in a way which constantly has me thinking, too.


Don’t say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.

It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.


It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

And of course, one of my all-time favorites quotes EVER!

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.

And the thing is, there are more which could be added. One of the best ever… no doubt.

I smell the future!!

Posted on July 21, 2009 at 5:30 AM by Alan Sitomer

In the war of digital vs. paper books, it looks like the paper tigers actually keep packing punches no one might have quite suspected they held in their arsenal. 8 tracks buckled like an accordion at the sight of cassette players. VHS tapes folded like a beach chair at the sight of DVD’s. But paper books, what have they done as the digital enemy intruder sought to encroach upon their territory?

Simply fire back more shots across the bow than anyone might have expected they were capable of launching.

BTW, the following piece of news falls under the umbrella of “Nutty stuff you can make up” or “Truth is stranger than fiction”.

Anyway, remember George Orwell, the author who wrote about big brother erasing all non-flattering material about the government after the gov ascended to role of guide for determining was appropriate for intellectual consumption by the citizenry… and what was not.

That was in 1949. He wrote this before there was google, email, cell phones or even rollie wheels on suitcases. (What a good invention, those were, huh? Do you remember the days of actually carrying heavy bags through airports? Now we all just get to crash into one another’s lower extremities when they are not looking. Much better, no?)

So now, 60 years later, Amazon, with its groundbreaking new kindle, decides to prove it cannot only add books to your life, it can subtract the ones you have already bought if they so choose. And what title is it that they apply this unknown power to?

George Orwell’s book 1984, of course. You can’t make irony like this up.

Now, they are still selling it here, but who’s to say they won’t yank the plug again on this purchase… or any other purchase one might make. I guess we always knew they had the power but it seems that until you actually have achieved totalitarian rule, you should not flex totalitarian powers. It’s just not polite.

Books are sure proving to be a pretty sticky technology, huh? And until some people start raving about how much they love the smell of the inside of a kindle, I have a feeling this battle is long since over.

I smell the future… and it smells like plastic made in China?

Is the School's Milk Carton Half Empty or Half Full?

Posted on March 30, 2009 at 10:30 AM by Alan Sitomer

Are schools a house of shame that eats its young or an institution that best represents the ideals of humanity? A look at the news slants us towards the former but when you work with the kids, there is little doubt it’s the latter.

For example, stories like this freak everyone out. I mean cage fights at high school? If I put this in a book, I think I’d have a hard time selling it because it’s just too far-fetched. But as the ol’ saying goes, truth is stranger than fiction. You almost can’t make this stuff up.

Then again, when you read about kids like Denise, you feel good to know that there are some take-charge kids out there making their schools — and this world — a better place.

Budget cuts are ripping everyone’s heart out. But teachers are becoming more innovative and resourceful than ever before.

Political shenanigans are omnipresent yet sentiments of positive change are all about and everyone can feel the tide is turning in a better direction.

So, is the school’s milk carton half empty or half full? (And what does your answer say about you?)

Powered by WordPress   |   Log in   |   Entries (RSS)   |   Comments (RSS)