The Book of Academic Life

Today’s reading is from the “Book of Academic Life,” chpt. 1, verses 1-15

In the beginning there was the Plan.
And with the plan there were the Assumptions.
And the Assumptions were without form.
And the Plan was without substance.
And darkness was upon the face of the faculty.
And they spoke among themselves saying, “It is a crock of shit and it stinks.”
And the faculty went unto their Chairs and said, “It is a bucket of dung and we cannot live with the smell.”
And the Chairs went unto the Deans saying, “It is a container of organic waste, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it.”
And the Associate Vice-Provosts spoke among themselves, saying, to one another, “It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong.”
And the Associate Vice-Provosts went to the Provost, saying, unto him, “It promotes growth, and it is very powerful.”
And the Provost went to the President, saying unto him, “This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the university with very powerful effects.”
And the President looked upon the Plan and deemed that it was good.
And the us the Plan became Policy.
And this is how shit happens.