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Posts Tagged ‘oh my goodness’

Conflict is better when the people are closer to one another

Posted on May 25, 2011 at 5:00 AM by Alan Sitomer

I was speaking to my literary agent the other day on the telephone and as we were discussing the plot of my book Nerd Girls Book II: The Return of the Nerd Herd, he said something really that really caught my ear. It was something that I think I always knew, but I’m not sure if I always really consciously knew I knew it.

He was speaking about conflict in the text of a novel and about how I should attempt to more deeply explore a few of the vibrant, confrontational interactions between the characters. And then he hit me with this small but very simple – and certainly spot on – gem.

“Conflict is better when it occurs between two people who are close with one another. The hero battling an enemy that they don’t personally know is good, but a father battling a son is always better.”

–Albert Zuckerman, Founder Writers House Literary Agency, New York, New York

It was one of those “click” moments for me. Like I said, I think I always knew on some level that conflict between people who are close – fights between parents and kids, siblings, best friends – is better than conflict with people the protagonist does not intimately know in the first place. And this small, almost offhand comment, really helped me see where I could get more thrust out of the text.

Now, since Nerd Girls Book II was already fully written when he mentioned this to me, it wasn’t one of those moments where I thought, “Oh my goodness, I need to go back and rewrite the whole darn thing.” I already had a good amount of “stuff” going on between all the principals in the book. But for my next pass at the text (after a first draft is done, it goes to my agent and my editor to read – where I will do at least 5 more passes of the book, some more extensive than others but usually I get about 85% of it right on the first go. That last 15%, however, makes an IMMENSE difference, like night and day, and I wouldn’t pass up the chance to do my re-writes for the world) I saw where I could find more energy and dynamism in the story. It was kind of like eating crab for dinner, where you work and work and work to crack the shell, and peel away the stuff and then BOOM! you discover one of those nuggets of crab meat that just makes the whole really good meal you’ve been eating that much better.

Funny, but when we hung up, I instantly thought about the movie Star Wars. I mean Star Wars is literally as big as big gets in the world of story. After all, it’s blazed into the collective experience of an entire generation, if not two, and its commercial success is practically unparalleled.  And yet, what is the most iconic line in the entire franchise?

“Luke, I am your father.”

I mean that’s the moment when suddenly, things get so deep for our hero that we realize, I’m not sure if I can handle this right now. I mean holy macaroni, you’re telling me that the Prince of Darkness, the most feared villain in the galaxy, the most heartless, soulless, terrifying entity in all the realm is the hero’s father? How in the world is good supposed to fight against evil when good’s father is evil incarnate?

And then I learn that this evil father used to be good… before he became wise in the ways of the world and discovered the power of the dark side of the force and now, our hero, the good guy, hero is being tempted to do the very same thing and cross over to the dark side right at this very instant.

If Darth Vader was merely an evil overlord, I am not sure Star Wars becomes the mutli-generational phenomenon it’s become. But when Darth Vader turns out to be the hero’s dad – the father versus son theme of which my agent spoke earlier – that kind of conflict resonates at the deepest level possible in the world of writing and story.

Who is the antagonist? Can you make them “closer” to the hero in some way?

Where is the harmony in the protagonist’s intimate relationships within the text? Where can you bring out more disharmony? After all, it’s way more interesting to watch people fight than it is to watch them get along.

Think about it… you can’t really be betrayed by someone you don’t know. However, if your best friend sells you out and turns out to be a backstabbing liar and suddenly you and that person are forced to interact once again… that’s when things get interesting.

Brother vs. Brother. There is a reason its such an enduring storyline from The Civil War.

It should be noted that I also began to question why this kind of conflict with your intimates seems to resonate so well with audiences. The answer I came up with was fairly simple: it’s because we all fight with our families. I mean who doesn’t know what it’s like to have their mother drive them crazy? Who doens;t know what it’s like to be deeply angry at your dad?

No one can hurt you like your family. They know all your secrets, they know how to push your buttons and when they fight, they rarely seem to fight fair, always going for that one spot which lives inside of you which you wish no one would ever touch.

Well, in the real world, you hate having it touched. But in the world of fiction, you LOVE seeing it touched in the lives of the characters about whom you deeply care.

Touch that note, that hurt, that place which can only be accessed in your characters by people with whom they are close. That’s when stories get juicy.

The credible, inevitable surprise

Posted on February 25, 2011 at 5:00 AM by Alan Sitomer

 The credible, inevitable surprise is a term I use to describe that part of the story where BOOM! it twists in a WOW type of way that really takes the audience to a new and heightened (and, most probably) more exciting space.

It’s that “Oh my goodness, no way!” moment that was practically destined to happen anyway. It’s the shock that’s not.

  • When Boxer gets sent to the glue factory in Animal Farm, it’s the shock that’s not.
  • When Peeta saves the life of Katniss instead of killing her because he loves her, it’s the shock that’s not.
  • When Darth Vader tells Luke, “I am your father,” it’s the shock that’s not.

These are the moments when it all makes sense. They are credible. (No  deus ex machina. No, “Come on, that would never happen” type of sentiment in the audience.)

They are also inevitable. After all, many, many good stories are often quite round in their nature. By that I mean that the problems and conflicts which arise early are the problems and conflicts which will see finality by the end. And almost always see a conclusion arrive in a way that the audience could have easily predicted… but didn’t.

  • When Claudius allows Denmark to fall to Fortinbras, we all knew that was coming. It’s inevitable.
  • When Huck and Tom save Jim, we all knew that they’d figure out a way. It’s inevitable.
  • When Melinda finally triumphs over the Beast, we knew she’d be confronted by him again. And we knew things would be different by the end. We knew she’d figure out a way to Speak. Why? Because it was inevitable.

The credible, inevitable surprise really sets up a very unique relationship between author and audience in that the author must give the audience both the credible and the inevitable while making sure to chart a path that seems as though ‘there’s no way on God’s green earth it’s gonna work out the way I know it’s going to work out.”

And when it does, audiences get to relish in the happy surprise of 1) I knew it all along and 2) I had no idea, either.

Fairy Tales know it…

  • The Three Little Pigs follows suit. (The last pig actually saves the day but for a moment, we all were quite concerned about the wolf have a few bacon sandwiches for dinner.)
  • Cinderella follow suit. (We know the prince is gonna discover Cinderella’s real identity and spare her from the evil step-family.)
  • The Gingerbread Man follows suit. (You just can’t be that annoying and full of hubris and not expect that you’re own sense of arrogance will not eventually lead to your downfall.)

What story are you reading right now? And what’s the credible, inevitable surprise? The authors who do those well – Dickens was a master – are the ones who will always have an audience.

It’s just the way we’re wired.

Are fake kids ever real kids? (a.k.a. Do avatars fart in class?)

Posted on January 15, 2011 at 5:00 AM by Alan Sitomer

 And in a sign that the world of education just became even more dystopian, I offer you this article… a piece about how real teachers can now cut their teeth and practice being a teacher on virutal students.

As the article says (cause, you can’t make this up), “such simulations give teachers in training the ability to experiment—and make mistakes—without the worry of doing harm to an actual child’s learning.”

Without the worry of doing harm to the child’s learning? I’ve spent 10 minutes trying to come up with a snappy way to mock this nonsense when it just dawned on me… I don’t even understand what that phrase means!

So if I make a mistake at the front of the room – I misquote a famous poet, fail to properly illuminate a missing comma, and so on – I am “doing harm to a child’s learning”?

Of course, I don’t want to be a cynic, but if you read the article they open with an example of a teacher wrestling with some classroom management issues.

The student-teacher faces a rowdy class.

“We’re not going to have that kind of behavior in here,” she says. “It’s too loud in here to move on.”

The students don’t pay much attention. A boy in the back row, wearing a sleeveless T-shirt, slumps his shoulders. Another student waves his hand aimlessly.
“Nah, just stretching,” he replies, when the teacher asks if he needs something.

Indeed, sounds like rough stuff. I mean, oh my goodness, those computer kids really seem to talk back, too. Heavens-to-Betsie’s, what in the world is an educator to do?

I wonder if the avatar kids do any of the following:

  • fart
  • laugh when their friend farts
  • falsely blame a non-farter for farting (all while making a big stink of the stink)

Okay, okay, a little decorum, please. The avatars, it’s safe to assume (and unlike very real kids), generate zero wind.

But I do wonder if they ever…

  • walk into class crying because their alcoholic mother smashed their cell phone to smithereens 4 minutes before 1st period started.
  • bounce into class simultaneously elated and terrified by the prospect of losing their virginity after school.

Do I need to go on?

Okay, it’s a good idea to be innovative but if we’re gonna bring avatars into education, why not flip the script, have an avatar teach a standards-based classroom lesson on the front video screen and have security guards with dogs patrol the room waiting to pounce at the slightest behavioral infraction? Security guards are cheaper than teachers, dogs don’t draw a paycheck or a pension and, as we all know, central command can then script the lessons while bubble tests can assess the performance.

Now the article which I mock does try to buttress itself with buzzwords and fancy sounding terms such as “there are 2 million discreet combinations possible.”

But these are not real kids! And are we not teaching educators if we dare to pre-service them with avatars instead of real kids, that there really is not difference between computer generated children and REAL children? Plus, what message are you sending to these soon-to-be instructors?

  • We’ve discounted the value of humanity so much that we believe we can replicate the actions, feelings and behavior of real children?
  • We are so confident that personhood can be imitated through 0′s and 1′s that as soon as we figure out how to simply replace you, the classroom teacher, with 1′s and 0′s, we are gonna pull your plug?

Are fake kids ever real kids? Doctors warm up for surgery using simulations to lock in and “get loose”. I get it. Doctors using avatars to replicate bedside manners when they have to relate news of a terminal illness?

It’s soul-less. And teaching, like medicine, police work, nursing, DMV work, and on and on and on, if it’s ever going to be any good, must have soul.

Am I just a dirty, scorn-deserving old man or has a new, young love bloomed?

Posted on July 22, 2010 at 5:30 AM by Alan Sitomer

I feel guilty.

It’s like I am a teenager who swore their undying love to a prom date and now a new hottie has come along that has caught my eye and I am thinking, “Well, I don’t recall actually getting officially married. And, okay, officially, we’re still going to the prom together but a fella can date in the interim, can’t he? Especially, if he’s willing to allow her to date as well?”

Are you confused yet about the pangs of my heart and lust in my soul ? Well, join the club because so am I.

See, in the scenario above, I am a reader, printed books are the steadfast, well-seasoned girlfriend, and eBooks are the new hottie on the block which have my head spinning – as well as the entire school’s.

Now, of course, printed books will always remain constant and steady and dependable. How can you knock that?

Yet me, as a reader, I am allowed to flirt with eBooks aren’t I? Maybe even have a few serious affairs with them?

Can I have my cake and eat it too or am I a Book Chauvinist oppressing the beautiful feminine spirit of printed books like some middle age reader having a mid-life crisis right now?

The hot and sexy thing who is fun and interesting and filled with limitless possibilities is seducing me and I, Mister Reader, feel akin to a weak male with weaker flesh… and I am succumbing to these tantalizing flings, all the while promising in my heart that I will never really l leave my first and purest love.

Printed book, I do love you! But right now, I want to scoot off to Tahiti with an eBook that resembles more Brazilian bikini than she does one-piece moo-moo.

I mean, WOW… check out that body and those moves on that eBook!

(And do you know what she can do in bed? Let’s face it… you just kind of lay there.)

Oh my goodness, am I losing my mind?

And if I do go off the deep end, does that mean that I can’t ever come to you, my original love?

Will printed books hold a grudge?

Will eBooks prove vacuous and empty and meaningless and shallow?

Am I just a dirty, scorn-deserving old man or has a new young love bloomed?

My heart is torn asunder.

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