It’s a fun party question to ask, “If you could meet anybody, who would it be?” Me, I love people and couldn’t really narrow my list down at all. Truthfully, I find so many folks interesting – especially the weird ones (who gravitate towards me like a magnet, I might add… no names mentioned). But usually people mean the question in terms of which famous person from history [dead] would you like to meet?

Still, I have a list a mile long. But probably at the top, I’d have love to have met some of the biggie writers. I’m talkin’ canonical Mo Fo’s.

- Dostoevsky

- Victor Hugo

- Hemmingway, Thoreau, Franklin, and Billy Boy Shakespeare!

Could you imagine sipping tea with Poe?

How about going for a row boat ride with Emerson?

A late night cafe con leche with Cervantes?

Me, I think the writers would be fascinating but then again, I’m a book dork. I mean chatting art with Monet, design with Michelangelo, or love (and ears) with Van Gogh would be hot!

And I am not sure if one could beat a clam bake with Dali or a barbecue with Picasso, either

Let’s not forget music. Perhaps there might not be a more tickling reaction to be had as giving me the chance to put a pair of iPod ear buds on Beethoven’s head so that I could expose him to the artistry of Justin Beiber.

But still, if I had to choose a famous dead person I really have no idea which way I’d go. It’d be a “thinker” though, of that I am pretty sure. The military folks never intrigued me as much as those with a philosophical bent. (Not that military guys aren’t thinkers, but I’ve a luvah, not a fighter.)

Lamb with Aristotle? Yes.

Turkey sandwiches with Stonewall Jackson. Eh, I’d take it, but not even a top 100. And though I am sure he’d eat my liver if he heard me say this, Dr. Seuss intrigues me far, far more than Attila the Hun.

Who would you choose? And why? Me, I have no idea. (But secretly I have always wished I was the one who wrote Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure a movie where two high school kids time-travelled and got to have a great time with all kinds of famous dead folks).

Einstein, Voltaire, Plato, Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Moses… it’d be great to share some chips and salsa with any of these cats, too, I think.

I’ve also noticed that my list is notably male. I blame patriarchal history. In a battle of Charles Dickens vs. Jane Austen, I’d take Charles Dickens every time. That’s not to say Jane wouldn’t be a kick in the pants – and only a fool would suggest that sharing a front porch and a glass of lemonade with Emily Dickinson wouldn’t be pretty outstanding – but the guys do seem to dominate my thoughts. Sure Getrude Stein, Sylvia Plath, Mother Goose (actually, she might crack my top 100; I’d just sit there with warm cookies and milk and drool the afternoon away) they all hold an attraction. (And now that I think about it, Jeanne d’ Arc would be a “let’s have some bouillabaisse” pick for sure). But the dudes certainly feel like they are carrying the category for me. (Perhaps there’s an argument for castration to be had in the reason why, somewhere.)

If I could only pick one? No idea. (But W. Somerset Maughm feels like a top 5.)

Here are the books I have coming out over the course of the next 12 – 18 months…

Daddies Do it Different

This is my first children’s picture book, inspired by recognizing that, as a father, “Mommies do it one way… but daddies do it different.” A funny, very warm book that just poured right out of me. Dedicated to my daughter and wife.

Nerd Girls

Inspired by the fact that I am so sick and tired of the way that so many teen books for girls are about a bunch of rich snobs who think they are all that, I wanted to write a book that was much more like my experience in working with middle and high school teens. And the fact is, most kids are nerds.

And most kids are funny.

And most kids are awkward, unsure, confused and just struggling to make their way through middle and high school.

And most girls love to laugh.

Nerd Girls is a comedy for the rest of us, the ones who were not born with a silver spoon in their mouth, who don’t always have the latest and greatest and most expensive clothing. The ones who actually are nice, real people – the kind that are real friends.

But wow was this a fun one for me to write. And it’s going to be a series. These girls are such dorks… they make me laugh just thinking about them Yet they have such heart.

The Math Class Problem No One Ever Talks About

Actually, this title may change… to Bonerville Middle School. Why? Because that’s what it’s about, a boy who gets an erection in math class… and gets busted.

But the thing is, it’s not a sex book. It’s a comedy about the fact that about a zillion 8th grade books every year get these uncontrollable woodies that Pop Up out of nowhere – and Boner Management becomes one of the most important areas of their life.

Prepare to laugh at Bobby Conner, a kid who is absolutely tortured by the perpetual popsicle in his pants.

Cinder-Smella

I re-imagined the Cinderella fairy tale as set in modern-day New York City with a protagonist that has very stinky feet! Yet another inspired by bedtime rituals with my daughter. Fun, fun, fun to write.

I work hard at trying to provide learning opportunities that can be fun. For sure it’s a “special sauce” in my teaching methodology because I deeply believe that people try harder – and that there is more “stickiness” to education – when students are actually enjoying the work they are being asked to do.

Fact is, figuring out how to marry meaningfulness to rigor through “fun” is how I spend a lot of my prep time for lessons. Making school “enjoyable” is not a dirty word. (Though you wouldn’t know it if you look at the textbooks, the bubble sheet tests, or even the content standards. Sheesh, could they be more boring? Particularly the bubble tests. It’s like they overtly seek to disengage students as if triumphing over the dread of the content being tested is a academic skill for today’s kids.)

In my estimation, discounting the element of “enjoyability”, “meaningfulness” and “pleasure” is an Achille’s heel in ours school.

And rigor does not have to be sacrificed at the altar of student enjoyment. (Trust me, project-based learning where kids actually have to “create” something requires far more depth of knowledge and diversified skill sets than choosing A, B, C, or D 75 times in a row.)

But often it seems like we forget the perspective of the kids when we craft our lesson plans.

As a student, I want to sit in the room of a chemistry teacher who “blows something up” in order to bring a lesson to life.

As a student, I want to sit in the room of a history teacher who figures out a way for me to smell the stench of a blood-stained battlefield.

As a student, I want to be intrigued, challenged and engaged. I like surprises. I like experiences. I like it when I like what is going on around me.

And I don’t like it when I don’t. Life is interesting. School can be invigorating. The world is an amazingly complex, interesting and awe-inspiring place.

Don’t let it die on the classroom vine.

Engross your students. Gross out your students. But know that if you want to better reach your students, I say, don’t violate the law of basic kid-ness: they like to enjoy what they are doing.

After all, you catch more flies with honey, right?

No one asked me but…

Considering that a bunch of high-fallutin’, really smart, really accomplished folks are now getting together to concotuate national standards (and you wonder why they didn’t invite me to the party?) I figured I throw in my own 2 cents.

All I ask is that they give me one standard. Just one. The rest, I’ll leave to the professionals.

Standard 1.0: Have fun!

That’s right, have fun. Enjoy your class, enjoy your students, enjoy your work and enjoy your challenges. Smile. Laugh. Tell jokes. Throw open our classroom doors to humor.

After all, these are kids. Diverse, unique, spectacularly special kids who are universally bound by very few universally applicable elements whereby a national model of standards is really going to aptly apply to meet the needs of every kid in this country anyway.

But all kids need to laugh. And all kids love to laugh. And, as someone much smarter than yours truly once said, there is no shorter line between the chasm of two people than a shared smile.

Having fun in the classroom is not a luxury… it is a critical need. People learn better when they enjoy what they are learning. Teachers are more effective when they enjoy what they are teaching. School administrators grumble less when they see kids enjoying school and the teachers enjoying that the kids are enjoying school. Great parents appreciate the value of fun. Great teachers appreciate the value of fun. Kids most assuredly appreciate the value of fun and we will never reach our fullest potential as penultimate technicians of the academic craft (whatever the heck that means — I just stuck it in there because it sounded all erudite) unless we are having fun.

Fun and rigor are not mutually exclusive in the classroom and anybody who thinks so… well, they are a stick in the mud who doesn’t really know much about how best to reach kids.

I’ll say it again… Standard 1.0: Have fun!

It would be a great contribution to American education if we could all recognize its value. And it applies top to bottom across the board in the world of K-12.