I took a yoga class the other day (gotta try to take care of the ol’ body as hard as I burn the candles at both ends) and the teacher said something which really got me thinking.

“Alan,” she said. I paused and waited. “You stink at yoga!”

Just kidding. (Actually, she certainly could have said that. Another story.)

Indeed, I was struggling with a pose, though. Not uncommon at all. And the teacher, in order to lighten the mood as I strained and grunted through it (btw, a person’s yoga practice is supposed to be peaceful and calm, even if you are working at your edge… miles to go before I savasana, as they say) told me that the performance of a person physically has virtually nothing to do with their actual quality as a human being.

“One could do double pigeon pose with ease and still be a serial killer,” she said. “Focus on the quality of your thoughts. Your thoughts matter more than your degree of flexibility.”

The quality of my thoughts. That really got me thinking about our schools.

See, we mistakenly correlate performance on academic assessments with “quality of student”… as if the quality of a student has no relation to the quality of person that this student is.

A kid could ace the SAT’s and still be an amoral, reprehensible slime. And another kid could get bombed by the SAT’s and represent the finest of what we hope young people ought to become. The fact that we are rewarding the former in schools and demonizing the latter without taking into account the “quality of their personhood” is ridiculous.

We reward academic performance as if school ought to have nothing to do with the quality of human being one becomes. And we hammer academic under-performance as if the quality of person one becomes plays no role of consequence in a child’s future life.

Would you rather raise a D student of kind and noble heart or an A student of depraved and narcissistic soul?

To me it seems a no brainer. Yet in our schools, who one is plays little to no role in contrast to how well one can academically perform.

As the great Yoda would say, “Off base we are, think I.”

Not many students of mine can afford an iPad. Matter of fact, I know only one. Her name is B and she just left my class after showing me how she is using it.

Her final words before she left… “I don’t really need notebook paper or pen ever again.”

B, mind you, is a top student. To wit, she built her own flash cards for her AP History class using a free flash card app she downloaded.

Her cards were so stupendous, I think she should think about selling the set online. (She’d made more than 240 of them based on her handwritten class notes – class notes that are, in her estimation, “oh so yesterday” because of how she can manage, arrange, organize, share evolve and connect the content all in one simple device.)

And watching her flip through these cards – they flip the same way the iPad turns pictures (i.e. the note cards have a front and a back and can be organized into sets, colors and so on) it was just mind-blowing to see what the modern-day AP student is already doing with an iPad.

She did her end-of-year report for science class (typed, with graphics, charts and pictures that, of course, the teacher required to be printed meaning that there would be no color and her aspiration to create hyperlinked references was pointless), she had her school organizer, she had things I didn’t even know existed on her tablet-top and she was using them like a kid who had been handling this type of computer technology her whole life.

Assignments, schedules, phone numbers, bookmarked websites, on and on and on and on.

I was just amazed how all-encompassing the iPad was for B already. I mean, she’s only owned the thing for 3 weeks and yet she trusts her entire academic life to the thing.

And mind you, as I said, this is not a run-of-the-mill student. B is an A student. To her, the iPad could be a toy – and it is at times. She readily admits she likes to play some of the games. (NOTE: She kicked my butt in Finger Air Hockey but I wouldda smoked her in checkers if we had time to finish the game.)

The device is not a fad and it’s not a fraud. Matter of fact, I am not sure why we are not already hearing more cries from those of us in academia to “get our students iPads”.

Simply put, they can do more than even I was ready to give them credit for.

B was a more efficient and more capable student with the iPad than she was without it. And she proved that to me.

School, and it’s inability to keep up with B, was the impediment to extended meaningful thinking and not vice versa.

For those of you who are still skeptical, I say find your way to touching an iPad this summer and contemplate the possibilities because it is people like us who are going to bring about the change we need in our schools.

From vanquishing the inane bubble tests to ridding ourselves of sanitized, one-size-fits-all textbooks to liberating our classrooms so that we can genuinely connect kids to one another, connect kids to best practices, and connect kids in a more meaningful way to their own education (and on and on and on) the iPad is genuinely an amazing device.

Skeptical? I was too. But the more I see, the more I believe this is a great classroom tool that, if wielded properly, will work wonders for kids across the nation.

Yes, I am Back on the iPad Bandwagon… and my feeling is that You Should Be, Too!

Last week I mentioned about me being up on stage speaking to a large group of big kahunas from all over the state. Basically district officers and principals.

Now one of the unspoken rules of public speaking is that it’s a good idea not to fight with the audience members. Pander, don’t provoke.

Let’s just say that my behavior onstage sometimes proves that I didn’t get that memo.

It started with a high ranking woman taking a bit of umbrage with my stance that using cell phones in class, as woven into the fabric of a lesson plan, is a much more sensible approach than banning cell phones outright. Why? Because cell phones are here to stay and they virtually demand their own type of literacy and if we can leverage the students’ love of technology and build a bridge between using their cell phone and using their brain to achieve an academic objective, there is nothing wrong with doing so.

Matter of fact, I believe we ought to do more of it. Prohibiting cell phones on campus just strikes me as a battle we will never win. Especially since most teens have their parents buy them their cell phones in the first place which automatically gives cell phone approval that trumps my own disapproval (if I were to disapprove, of course.)

Anyway, that set the stage. She took umbrage with my cell phone stance. And why?

“Because,” as she said, “she can remember back in the 1980′s when kids were doing drug deals in class with their pagers.”

Okay, I won’t even go there. We all know that’s an argument I wouldn’t dare touch because it’s be like take out a bazooka against a person that barely held a poorly constructed bow and arrow.

But then she continued and said, “For example, I just left a session where the person next to me was texting the whole time. I mean they missed the whole session while fiddling with their cell phone. And it was a good session, too. They missed some valuable stuff.”

Now the fight is more fair here, right?

Let’s take a look at her presumption.

First of all, the txt-er could have been tweeting the whole session because they were riveted and really wanted to spread the awesome info to 1,268 of their followers.

Or perhaps, they were taking note on their phone.

Maybe they were live-blogging?

Her presumption that because the person was txting they were missing out on the info could have been preposterously wrong.

Then again, this presupposes the inverse is true – that just because someone is looking at you, they are actually listening to what you are saying.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had my eyes lasered in on some kind of lame consultant as they fumble through a Power Point with an expression that beamed, “I am riveted by your genius!” while inside my brain, I was thinking, “I wonder if Subway is still running that $5 footlong deal. Boy, they have good pepperoncinis.”

In this day and age, a person on the phone is not necessarily a person on the phone and a person looking you in the eye might really be thinking, “McDonalds… I am lovin’ it!”

A common mistake I see with many, many educators is that when the end of the school year peeks its head on the school horizon, they begin to – how should I put this – well, they begin to “kind of coast”. They take it easy. They don’t stress, they don’t fret, they do not push the pedal to the metal but instead, they go into “Countdown mode”.

It’s educational quicksand and my warning to you is: Stay Away!

I’ll explain why. But first, some backstory: this educational insight hit me in the bathroom. (I’ll spare you the potty humor right now though, let’s admit it, I am really, really tempted to crack a bodily function joke at this moment.)

See, there’s a guy I see in the restroom practically every day… and every day for the past week, instead of greeting me with his usual, “Hello, Alan,” he has greeted me with, “Only 25 more days, Alan” – and then he adds a beaming smile.

“Only 24 more days, Alan.” (Beaming smile.)

“Only 23 more days, Alan.” (Beaming smile.)

Truly, it’s a great exercise for discussing the literary device of perspective. To this teacher, he sees the dwindling days as an exciting time, as if the torment of teaching will be over oh-so-soon for him and the joys of watching re-runs of Dancing with the Stars, or whatever he does, will begin in earnest. (Look, maybe he he’s a championship knitter over the summer, what do I know?)

The bigger point is that his beaming smile and countdown greeting are not filling me with glee but rather, they are making me tense. (I’ve written about this feeling before.) I have stuff to do, still. I have books I still want to read, projects I still want to tackle and on and on and on.

There’s still so much more I didn’t get to!

Obviously, our classes must reflect our varying dispositions. His class, I am assuming, operates at a leisurely pace whereby the students are, like the teacher, most probably biding their time.

My class operates as if, well, the classroom minutes matter. That’s a choice.

Ya know, we complain so much as teachers about all the stuff that isn’t right, that’s going wrong, that’s being cut or under-funded and so on and yet, here it is that we still have a patch of open road and some teachers are squandering their opportunity to do more, be more, teach more and so on, while others are not.

Really, the way I see it, there is only one way to conduct yourself as a classroom educator this time of year: be the type of teacher you would want your owns kids to have at the front of their class. It’s one of the best litmus tests you can apply to your own personal, self-reflective, professional assessment.

And if I would want my own kids in a class where the teacher is still demanding thoughtful, productive, hard work, then that’s what you yourself should still be doing. (And what parent wouldn’t want this?)

Really, why do the classroom minutes of late May hold any less value than those of early October? Of course, I am not saying don’t have fun. I have tons of fun. (But I do in October as well. Fun and rigor are not mutually exclusive to high quality schooling.)

Additionally, let’s be honest… I love summer, too. Really, I LOVE IT! (Maybe even more than the other teacher does.) But summer is not here yet… and there’s miles to go before we sleep.

(Hey, now that I think of it, maybe I can squeeze in a little extra Frost poetry this year. And connect it to this great article I read on Steve Jobs talking about how even though he is a billionaire on top of the world, he is still as driven as ever… because he feels, I assume, there are still “miles to go before he sleeps”, right? Ah, the possibilities.)

So much vibrant stuff is still available to do… with so little time so please, use the opportunities. It’s the stuff of which our careers are made… and our kids deserve it.

(FYI, I am going to host a free webinar on Finishing Strong next week (May 19th from 6:30 – 7:30 EST. If interested, you can sign up here.)

I love being able to use contemporary pics in my class… and in my blog. Today, let’s have a little class debate. Here’s our pic.

Backstory: A teen at a baseball game (supposedly NOT drunk or on drugs) calls his dad to ask, “Uhm, Hey Dad, should I run on the field? It’s like a once in a lifetime chance.”

Dad said, “Uhm, doesn’t sound smart, son.”

Son says, “Okay, Pop.” And then runs on the field anyway.

He avoids security for a wee bit and the above picture captures the moment.

Steve gets TASERED.

Question: Did Steve deserve it?

Here’s my class?

For side: Hell yes! What a bonehead. You run on the field at a major league baseball game in this day and age and you deserve whatever you get.

Against side: No way! Far too heavy handed. Cops always use too much force.

Not sure which side: If he was black or brown, they wouldda used real bullets!

Not sure which side: I hear dat!

For side: I tell you this. People are going to think twice about running on the field at the Phillies home ball park in the future. It’s a good deterrent against future idiots.

Against side: The U.S. government should not condone this type of brutality. I mean this isn’t a country where we string people up and attach electrodes to their genitals in order to get them to submit to our will.

For side: Actually, we do do that? In Gitmo.

Against side: I thought they closed that down.

Not sure which side: No, that was the Bay of Pigs.

Not sure which side: She never pays attention in history class.

Not sure which side: I don’t eat Pigs, Bay Pigs or any kind. But I’m not a Muslim. Just a vegetarian who eats chicken and sometimes steak.

Not sure which side: Bueller. Bueller.

Okay, so I made this whole whole conversation up.

But as you can see, Steve, the Phillies Fan Who got Tasered, certainly has my imagination going.

A few random thoughts on school now that I am back in action…

–They should plan for a vakay after a person’s vakay so that folks like us can have some time to rest up after having taken a vakay. Recovering from hard work is tiring.

–How come the kids that were the talkers in class before Spring Break return to school as, yep, you guessed it, the talkers in class but the kids who were the motivated and diligent students before the break return to school looking as if they just want to lay their head down on a desk and take a nap?

–Why do so many kids clamor for vacation before it hits yet complain about how boring their Spring Break was once they return?

–Lots of teacher smiles and “Hello there, good to see you,” salutations between faculty members in the halls today. By day 3 this week — after a good staff meeting and a few memos from admin — I wonder how well these pleasantries will hold up.

–A recent article says that 84% of teachers in the state of California hold unfavorable attitudes towards NCLB. 84%? I am shocked. Who the heck are the 16%… that’s what I want to know?

– During the holiday, I enjoy the taste of coffee. When school is in session, I survive off its caffeine.

One day at school, the children in class began to identify the flavors of Life Savers by each of their colors:

Red…………………Cherry
Yellow……………..Lemon
Green……………….Lime
Orange …………..Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None
of the children could identify the taste.

The teacher said, ‘I will give you all a clue. It’s what your
mother may sometimes call your father.’

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and
yelled out, “Get rid of ‘em! Get rid of ‘em! They’re ass-holes!”

BTW, it’s Super Bowl weekend. How can ya not pull for the Saints?

How can anyone be expected to manage a situation that they do not really understand?

And how can anyone really understand a situation unless they are actually in that situation?

It is for this reason that I believe ALL school administrators should be required to teach at least one class in K-12 schools.

Yep, the Principal needs to teach a class.
The Vice Principals need to teach a class.
The Superintendent and their cabinet of decision-makers need to teach a class.
The School Board personnel need to teach a class.

If they can, that is.

And by “if they can” I don’t mean “if they can carve out the time in their schedule to do so.” School meets with clockwork regularity. (Most start by 8:15 a.m. I am not even sure if half the people on the aforementioned list are actually working by this hour.) By 9:30 or so they’ll be done and the insight they’ll gain from actually being in a room with real kids — ones they are responsible for “academically elevating” — will trump any study they could ever hope to not read. (Come on, we all know they have people summarize this stuff for them in mono-syllabic terms.)

BTW, I am not even sure if all of these people I mention even hold a teaching credential. Hmm, what does it say about people who sit in positions of policy making power when they do not even have the certification to legally give them the right to do the job over which they lord.

Come on, slum with the plebeians. Let’ em all teach 1 period. Why not?

Are they too busy?
Are they unable to perform?
Are they scared?

And just because they “used to do it” 17 years ago doesn’t mean they can do it now. It’s an iPod, google, hit me on the cellie with a txt message world and these folks think that just because they stood at a chalkboard when Ronald Reagan was president they can still strap it up and deliver real results?

Ba-hum-bug-bullshit!

Make ‘em do what they mandate us to do and watch what they mandate morph.

Cuz ya know that when you have to eat the food that you are cooking, the meal always becomes more palatable.

The other day the Principal and a Vice Principal came into my room un-announced. Why? To do “informal observations”.

I was given no notice, no inkling — didn’t even know they were in this wing of our school.

And still during the middle of 6th period they popped in, each took a position on one side of the room — checksheet in hand — and they observed.

I was at the front of the room at the time just having finished up giving a cloze quiz about the current book we are reading. My front board was kinda blank but that’s only because I needed the space for the next part of class where I’d be using the white board to draw a few things, jot down some of their own notes, and blah, blah… you know, I was just planning on using my board.

Thing was, at the time when they walked in, I wasn’t really using the board.

And the fact is, I can’t say, all that much was going on other than the fact that every kid was in their seat with their head down working.

The P and the VP didn’t say boo to me. And they were really only in my room for less than 7 minutes. They took notes but I never saw them. They “observed” things but I have no idea what they noted. Essentially, they did a fly-by, took a snapshot of my class and left.

Of course, the paranoid person in me thinks, “Hey wait! That’s just a snapshot. You gotta stick around to see this great stuff I have planned for later in the class. And then you have to see how it fits in with this really cool thing I am gonna do next Tuesday. And when you take it in context of what we did last Wednesday and you see how it relates to what I have planned in February, it really will add up to something.”

But alas, all they saw was the snapshot. And I gotta say, I feel a bit cheated by it. I mean on one hand, yes, give me 5 minutes in a class and I can tell a great deal. I do believe that is true. From the sense of classroom management and so on, 5 minutes can “tell” a little bit.

But does it really “inform”? Naw. And when they do this silent, stealthy drop-in, drop-outs, is there a teacher on staff that ever really feels good about it?

What did they see?
Do I need to go explain myself?
Will what they saw be “used against me” at a later date?

Maybe they loved it? If so, it would boost my morale if they let me know.
Maybe they hated it? Well, how might I improve?

But silence? That’s the worst!

Was I just caught with my pants down?

During a class discussion the other day the subject of alcoholism came up. I asked my 2nd period class, “How many people have, in their opinion, an alcoholic relative in their family?”

75% of the kids raised their hands.

“How many people in this room have seen a beer commercial?” (They are 9th graders, kids that are 14 for the most part.)

All hands went up.

“How many people in this room have seen over 10 beer commercials?”

75% of the hands went up.

“How many people in this room have seen over 50 beer commercials?”

A heck of a lot of hands went up. More boys at this juncture. (Watching sports on TV I am presume.) Remember, these are 14 year olds.

So we outlaw tobacco ads on tv and make the tobacco companies pay for their own “Don’t smoke” campaigns yet booze gets a complete and total pass when it comes to direct marketing to our kids? A marketing they do, mind you, with the highest hopes of turning our young people into future, lifelong customers.

Otherwise known as addicts. I mean, alcoholics. I mean, er, responsible drinkers.

Look, I find beer commercials funny and entertaining and even kinda innovative. But the damage that alcoholics do to themselves, their family and society? Not quite so Ha-Ha.

And why do I have a feeling that my kids could name more brands of beer than they could members of the Supreme Court, Congress and so on? Matter of fact, I bet Joe Biden would get pummeled by the suave Dos Equis guy in a face recognition contest.

Bottoms up.