As my first day of NCTE 2011 in Chicago is upon me, it’s incredible to reflect upon the professional amazing-ness attending this conference has brought to me as an English Language Arts lifer.
Flat out, my skills set has been forever elevated for making the effort to be here.

As an educator, I’ve literally had a chance to hear some of the most cutting edge ideas in the world of ELA from some of the top thinkers in our profession. In no particular order, I’ve had the good fortune to meet and hear the brainiacical manifestations of Carol Jago, Kylene Beers, Kelly Gallagher, Janet Allen, Bob Marzano, Jim Burke, Jeff Anderson, Carol Booth Olson, Jeff Wilhelm, Bob Probst, Alfred Tatum… the list is too long for me to even bother to continue to type. (Easily, I could triple the name dropping.) I’ve paid homage to their concepts, I’ve referenced their research and I’ve shamelessly stolen their lesson plans and gone straight back to my own classroom to use their ideas, tools and strategies.

Without a doubt, if I know anything at all about working in the world of literacy, my knowledge base has been enhanced – if not greatly shaped – by the influence of having met, chatted up and been able to sit in the audience of the great PD sessions these folks – and many, many more – have had to offer.

We’re all standing on the shoulders of those who came before us in a way. NCTE simply hoists me higher.

I turned 44 today. Birthdays are always a bit of a reflective time. And for me, being that I still feel there’s a bit of wax left in my candle (or so I hope) I find it pretty important to take a look at my habits.

I’ve read it a zillion times before and I do agree with the statement: people are quite often creatures of habit.

Sow an act, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny. – George Boardman

As people, we like rhythm. We like continuity. We find solace in repetition and regularity. The seasons have rhythms. Mother Nature has rhythms. Why we should expect human beings to also not be cut from this very same cloth?

However, as human beings we get, in many ways, the opportunity to self-determine our own patterns. This means that reflection can give us a chance to take stock, adjust and improve our circumstances. If the patterns and habits we have set in motion for ourselves – or our students, or our children – are functioning well and flowing in a manner which we feel good about, then often we find ourselves in situations we enjoy. Circumstances that are meaningful. We taste happiness now and then. And if not, then we’re often frustrated (if not downright angry, bitter, cynical and jaded).

But our attitudes are our own choice.

I don’t know if I have become my own best friend in this world, but at this age I certain have halted the war I once waged against myself whereas I was pretty much my own worst adversary. It’s something which age has delivered – and WOW, am I thankful. The demons of youth have lost their hold on my soul… but that only happened as a result of me changing the manners by which I conducted myself in this world. I changed my daily habits and often when I look around at the reasons why so many people feel vexed, I see that they are often self-sabatuers. It’s not that we really need to do more to improve our lives; often if we did less of that which is hurting us, we’d make great strides.

My own experience has directed me towards this belief. It was the things I gave up, the things I stopped doing which opened the doorways. Kinda zen-like, I’ve found.

However, other times we must do more, too. Especially when we are doing less of one thing, we find space which requires filling. So what do you do? What habits shape your day, your week, your month, your year, your decade, your life?

Look, some people get up and jog at 5:00 am. Some do not. Some get up and write at 5:00 am. Some do not. Some people get up and pray, some get up and surf, and some do not get up at 5:00 a.m. at all. Ever.
Choice gets you up once. Habits get you up at this hour 6 days a week.

Covey talks at length about habits. (And he’s shaped my own thinking a lot.) So being that my tooth has lengthened that much more I must recognize the fact that my life is now in its patterned motion for what might very well be the most instrumental years of my life. That means my day to day choices – my habits and patterns – matter a lot. For example, if I want to feel good about my body, exercising and making good food choices have to now be a day in and day out reality for me… or else they stand a good chance of becoming be an empty pipe dream that “one day I’ll be in shape”.

If I want to write that next book (or a first book on a new subjecy) is my butt in a chair actually writing a book? These are the days in which it better.

If I want to be in a sound financial situation, am spending and earning and saving in a manner which can actually build wealth?

Perhaps I want to learn Portuguese. Am I underway? (BTW, I don’t.)

Perhaps, I want to be a more involved parent? Do my current actions demonstrate a dedication to this desire? (I hope they do.)

We’re all creatures of habit, provided with the dual-edged gift/sword of freedom of choice. (For the most part, that is. Life will still happen to us, complete with its elations and sadness, hopefulness and heartbreaks.) But not to choose to pursue that which you really want is to choose to not have that which you really want. I think I’ve learned that, too.

Yep, I am 44 today. (Please, thanks for the well-wishes but sending me a note when I hope to take the day off from checking the computer is just gonna clog the ol’ pipes… I’m playing hookey and heading to Disneyland with my family.)

But I do recognize that the patterns in motion now will be the ink that etches my life’s pages.

And how many pages do any of really get anyway?

Mortality… deliberating it is what sends me to Disneyland. A few rides, a ton of smiles and a bunch of yummy treats feel like a “just what the doctor ordered” type of prescription for me today.

Be well!

It’s the second to last day of school for me… and I still have things I am hoping to do. I guess I am suffering a bit from the couldda, wouldda, shouldda syndrome.

Every school year is like that I think, but this year, there are a more “wish I would have gotten a chance to do that” thoughts in my air.

Oh, what we couldda, wouldda, shouldda.

A part of it comes from technology. With so many more tools at our disposal, there are so many new ways for students to demonstrate their learning and really dive deeply into new frontiers of learning.

Oh, what we couldda, wouldda, shouldda.

On the other hand, there are a ton of great books we did not get to read. That’s always an issue for me (not reading enough). We read all the time and yet, there is so much more I really hoped to tackle.

Oh, what we couldda, wouldda, shouldda.

My students wrote, too. Wrote and wrote and wrote. And yet, did they write enough? One more high quality piece really might have been the icing on the classroom cake.

Oh, what we couldda, wouldda, shouldda.

Did I do enough prep for the bubble tests? Did I make sure to administer enough preparatory bubbles so that when the real bubbles came,my students had pre-bubbled enough so that they were ready to really rock the meaningful bubbles.

Oh, what we couldda, wouldda, shouldda.

NOT!

As a professional, these questions also eat at me a bit. Was I generous enough with my peers? Giving enough to my school? Did I reach out enough to the parents?

Oh, what I couldda, wouldda, shouldda.

Looking back, I did a heck of a lot this year. And yet, much like most coaches will reflect upon their seasons and often remember the losses much more than the victories, so too do I see more of the couldda, wouldda, shoulddas than the “signed, sealed and delivered” aspects.

Is it just the nature of this time of year to realize, “Oh, what more there might have been?”

Have we not brought this on ourselves? Truly, it’s our own fault we are mired in this whole “measuring teacher’s effectiveness” mess anyway.

And why? Because we, as teachers, have run amok.

We had a chance to police ourselves, we had a chance to be our brother’s keeper, we had a chance to self-regulate in a way that resembled sensibility.

We had decades to do so. But we got ahold of too much rope and now we have hung ourselves. Our negative fringes need to be reigned in, our performance needs to be recognized as something that is not above improvement nor reproach, our sense of team is being torn asunder by the “I’s” who think they are above having to be a part of a team, and we need to do a better job at our job — like all aspects of American education do.

We can point the figure at every other quadrant of public schooling: parents, community, societal values, administration, the federal government, the budget and on and on… and be right about the blame we lay!

Yet still, that does not change the fact that we must take ownership over our own shortcomings and figure out a way we, as teachers, can better serve the needs of the next generation of student.

And if it comes with some professional uncomfortableness, so effin’ be it!

Teaching is NOT about us, the teachers; first and foremost it’s about the students. In our field we know this, we see this, we bleed this.

We live this.

But not all of us of do. And a small cancer has spread to the point where it’s no longer small.

Clearly, the campus duds must be de-dudded and we gotta start bringing better game to the table. All of us do.

(BTW, NCLB is not even worth mentioning to counter this argument because NCLB has been a farce and you’re not gonna find any love from me for the calamity that this exercise in folly has wrought for us all.)

Now the thing is, people get uproarious about feeling accused. Chill out because if you are reading this, you probably are not one of the people at whom I am pointing the finger. Those folks rarely, if ever, read blogs on nings seeking out answers on their own time as to how to improve their craft or stay up to date on the latest policy measures (much less looking for a means whereby they can improve a lesson plan).

But if we can’t acknowledge that something is rotten in the state of Denmark then we have absolutely no chance in hell of ever improving it.

It begins with us taking a look in the mirror and being humble (and realistic) about the fact that we can get better.

We all seem to believe, as teachers, that good assessment is an asset to improving our ability to elevate student learning in our classrooms. How do I know what a kid knows unless I assess what it is I am seeking for them to be able to prove they understand and can do?

And once I assess and reflect on the student’s performance, I can chart a new path for extended growth.

Because growth never stops in education. There is no end line to any of this.

However, if you take away my ability to assess my kids (no formal measurements at all) I believe I will be a lesser teacher. By a lot! Nope, I am not Socrates. Or Jesus or Buddha or whatever other person you can think of that was able to turn student water into wine without formal feedback. (Unless Socrates actually gave 5 paragraphs essays that I didn’t know about. Wouldn’t that be the ultimate egg on our face — Socrates assigned hamburger essays on truth, beauty and nobility — the documents were just misfiled amongst the ruins. Yikes!)

No, I am just a high school English teacher in Los Angeles, California and I use multiple measures to gain insight into the knowledge and performance of the kids in my class.

Why can’t the same be applied to us as teachers on the whole?

No one measurement in my class ever gives the whole story to me as to a kid’s learning anyway. (Which is why high stakes tests don’t really strike me as the cat’s meow.)

I use multiple measures. From quizzes to personal contact to project-based learning projects to traditional summative assessment tools, I use multiple approaches to gain the knowledge I seek.

And I find that knowledge valuable because it better enables me to figure out ways to teach my students.

And giving an F is always the last resort. (As firing would be in the plan I envision.) But i do give some F’s. (And we do need to fire some folks.)

But I give a lot more A’s and I work exceedingly hard to recognize good work much more so than I do at demonizing poor work.

Why can’t we transpose these ideas to our own profession? We certainly have, in my estimation, proven the need to do it.

And if we want to point fingers at who has demonstrated this need, collectively, it is us. We have proven the need for our effectiveness/job performance/professional impact to be measured/assessed/evaluated/judged – choose whatever language you want – ourselves.

Individually, you may not feel you need it but holistically, when it comes to American education at large, this need is glaring.

The only real question left for me is, why do I feel so alone when I type this?

This stuff is starting to make my head spin.

On one hand, our courts ban same sex marraige,on the other hand a high school in Los Angeles elects a male prom queen and on the third hand 1 in 4 U.S. school-aged kids are Hispanic, but they are not recent immigrants.

Jeez, I don’t know whether to be homophobic, heterophobic or xenophobic at this point. Goodness how I wish the myopic, closed-minded folks who steer public sentiment could give me a better sense of direction. These days it’s confusing to know who I’m supposed to hate.

Los Angeles Unified has also decided to cut summer school due to the budget crisis — but we’re going to keep credit recovery courses at the secondary level for high schoolers. Now this makes complete sense to me. I mean come on, what kind of hit would this school district’s iconic educational image take if we weren’t still offering the chance to make up 18 weeks of F work with 4 weeks of D work (via worksheets, of course) and kept funding programs that had been proven to help that small little segment of our state’s population like elementary age English Language Learners.

Good call! I mean heaven forbid we actually associated an F with the idea of failing or recognized that young kids who need more time in class but don’t get it while they are still young will turn in to old kids who don’t care about spending any time in class because they already know it all.

I mean I don’t want to say that this is a jilting bigger than that of Betty being passed over for Veronica by Archie (not sure I agree with this one, Arch, my friend) but still, if I was going for where my buck will get more bang, I’d be betting on the little kids who are trying to learn the language over the big kids who just had their chance to earn credits oh, 2 week ago.

And you wonder why teachers need aspirin.