Part of what makes teaching so awesome is the stuff you hear from the mouths of your students. I only wish I wrote down more of what came at me from my kids because it seems like at least once a week, I hear something that is just so brilliant, so insightful, such a twist on the English language that I never expected, well… it just never fails to tickle me.
Here’s one that just got passed along to me. (Always good to mix in some giggles about our profession, right?)
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The teacher told him to go down to the principal’s office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. When the teacher went back to investigate what was going on, she found the boy sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.
‘I thought I told you to call your mom!’ she said. ‘I did,’ he answered, ‘And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she’d come and pick me up from school.’
Here’s another I found on the web…
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later….. ‘Daad….’ ‘What?’ ‘I’m thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?’ ‘No, You had your chance. Lights out.’ Five minutes later; ‘Da-aaaad…..’ ‘WHAT?’ ‘I’m THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??’ I told you NO! If you ask again, I’ll have to spank you!!’ Five minutes later……’Daaaa-aaaad…..’ ‘WHAT!’ ‘When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?’
And finally… (This one killed me).
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair eating a snack cake while her dad gets his hair cut. The barber says to her, ‘Sweetheart, you’re gonna get hair on your Twinkie.’ She says, ‘Yes, I know, and I’m gonna get boobs too.’