I’ve enjoyed – and endured – a lot of book reviews since I’ve become an author. But hands down, this is the best book review I’ve ever gotten… and I copied it word-for-word. (For my novel Homeboyz).

I HATE READIN SOO MUCH!! SHIT I NEVER THOUGHT I WUD READ A WHOLE BOOK. BUT SHIT THIS BOOK IS REAL, AND REAL BOUT THE STREETS. I GOT OUTTA THE GANG LIFE A FEW MONTHS AGO. AFTER THAT I READ THIS BOOK. AND ITS HELLA WORTH READING IT. I GOTTA GIVE PROPS TO THE AUTHOR. THAT WAS THE SHIT.

What else is there to say?

I remember seeing Kelly Gallagher do some PD once that really stuck with me. Especially when he demonstrated how prior knowledge and range of vocabulary affects comprehension.

Kelly used the term “Uncle Charlie” in a passage of reading to exemplify a point he was making. Being that I am kind of a baseball guy, I knew that the author of the passage was referring to the pitcher throwing a curveball in the piece.

However, many in the audience were befuddled because they didn’t come to the passage with much prior baseball in their back pockets.

Thus, Kelly’s great point. He posits that extensive reading and exposure to a wide latitude of articles, pieces, ideas and so on broadens people in a great many ways – and without that extensive scope of reading, there is a ceiling over our heads… the less one broadly reads, the lower the ceiling. (BTW, I am paraphrasing… probably badly but that’s why Kelly is inimitable and I tackle more fiction than non.)

That leads me to a very funny email I just received. (It’s below.) Of course, I think it’s really funny because I come to the piece with the background knowledge needed to see the humor… so some of these are really LOL hysterical to me.

However, if you know nothing of history, international culture, or war in the 20th century this might sail right over your head… just as Kelly’s Uncle Charlie reference did to many in the audience that day.

(Side note: Of course, I get sideswiped all the time by references to things which I simply “do not get”. As culture becomes more fragmented, a legit question arises about, “What should we all know?” The coming Common Core Standards are somewhat of a response to this idea. But really, what percentage of your kids would laugh if they read the following… and of the ones that did not laugh, is limited knowledge about pretty important events in the not so distant past the culprit? Or is it that I just have a warped sense of humor and the line about the Germans is only funny is you have a screw loose?)

Terror Levels Alerts Across the Globe

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats, and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved”. Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross”. The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the B@stards”. They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 400 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide”. The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender”.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing”. Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides”.

The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs”. They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose”.

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile, and as usual, are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies “just in case”.

Canada doesn’t have any alert levels.

New Zealand has raised its security levels – from “baaa” to “BAAAA”. Due to continuing defense cutbacks, New Zealand has only one more level of escalation, which is “I hope Australia will come and rescue us”.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be alright, mate”. Three more escalation levels remain: “Crikey!”, “I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend” and “The barbie is cancelled”. So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

It’s so nice to read an article in the newspaper that celebrates what is good about education. About things that are working. About things that, as the article says, “bring the humanity back” to our schools.

And it’s the ancient art of storytelling in which hard-scrabble kids are finding their voice, a sense of community and personal empowerment which are the keys to this taste of student success.

Places are using council to reach and teach kids. As the article states…

“Schools are so focused now on testing and assessment — the download and regurgitation of content. Council is the practice of listening to children and to one another.”

Wow, listening.
Wow, story.
Wow, building relationships that are meaningful.

Take a moment to read the hyperlinked piece above from the L.A. Times. It’s good stuff. It’s working. It’s critical.

Careful though… if this catches on, we’re gonna need bubble tests to provide data-driven council. After all, that would be a natural evolution, right?

And in another case of the bubble tests being the tail that wags the entire educational dog, we see that one of the nation’s largest school districts – Los Angeles Unified – wants to start school earlier next year.

Not add more days of school, mind you. (Of course not. That would cost money and perhaps even add value to a child’s learning life.) Nope… they want to start earlier to “give students more time to prepare for the tests.”

That’s not a direct quote. Here’s the direct quote…

“The Los Angeles Unified School District hails the idea as a step forward academically, arguing that students would be better prepared for exams.”

It’s that blatant.
That direct.
That absurd.

Clearly, good widgets do well on good one-size-fits-all bubble tests and bad widgets do poorly on one-size-fits-all bubble tests so – just as clearly, we need to start concentrating on the bubble tests earlier next year as they are, after all, the entire raison d’etre for public education’s entire existence.

It also goes to show how little the time is valued by our schools after bubble test season is over. (I’ve blogged about this before, about how once testing season passes the entire school shifts into “bide-our-time til summer” mode because clearly, once the bubbles have passed, so has the need to “really teach”.)

Why don’t we just let the bubble test makers decide the school calendar and put this baby to rest once and for all? They could schedule our tests, they could schedule our pre-tests, they can schedule our practice tests, our warm-up tests, and our make-up tests.

And anything that’s left over, will just be a furlough day. After all, if we are not preparing kids for the tests, how in the world can it be said that we are really teaching.

Because if it’s not tested, why would we be teaching it anyway?

This will all save us time, money and energy. Since nothing else but the bubble tests matter, why are we even bothering to pretend that anything other than the bubble tests do matter.

Of course, once we parse the data, we’ll know who to keep, who to fire, which kid to shame and which kid to put on the cover of the school district’s newsletter.

It’s a simple solution really. I have no idea why it’s taken them so long to figure it out.

Recently, a bunch of people have been asking me about how to blog. Or rather, how to build a big readership of blog readers.

While a quick google search will reveal all sorts of tips and tricks and so on, for me, I think that the key element comes through voice. You gotta find your voice.

The truth is, building a blog takes time, effort and persistence. I’ve been blogging now for two solid years. (Really, it’s like my 2 year ann of starting my blog this week.) I used to blog 7 days a week for the first 6 months – now I crank out about 4 or 5 posts per week. Me, being a writer, makes it feel like a duck-in-water type of situation, though. I love doing it and keeping up with my blog is not anything like “work” to me at all. It’s fun. It’s energizing. It stretches me in ways I like. And let’s be honest, not everyone is made from this weird writer fabric where they get their kicks out of banging away at a keyboard as much as I do.

As with all writing, blogging forces me to think about what I really think… and therein I find the personal reward of blogging. Sure I goof around and embed fart jokes whenever I can – cause they’re a gas (get it, a gas? Oh so immature!) but blogging is equivalent to mental exercise for me. As mentioned, it keeps me sharp… and current. (Puts fart jokes in a whole new light, no?). Like most work, I think you have to find some sort of internal reward in doing the work if you are going to produce decent work.

So the answer is that for most folks, to build a blog where you get a decent sized readership, well… it’s gonna take a while and it’s gonna take the creation of a lot of content. And that content has got to come at people from an angle. It needs to have a voice. I don’t think having a “product” (i.e. my books and such) really drives my blog and/or brings readers. It’s that I have found a blogging voice which is my own… goofy and irreverent as it may be.

And if you are going to “be a blogger” you’ve got to find yours.

So if you want to build a blog you have to start writing and writing and writing and then see where it leads you personally. Once you find your own voice I think you will also find more and more readers.

There are no shortcuts these days – especially with so many people blogging. But there is always room for good, interesting, valuable content. (As a reader, I dig reading people that “move” me in some way… and I’d read you if you hit that bar.) Create that kind of blog and you will find an audience.

My best advice is to be persistent, be fearless and be honest. Trying to please others is a recipe for being boring and inauthentic… and who wants to read that?

Thus fart jokes. They may stink, but they are never boring.

I love Thanksgiving because when I am grateful I am usually feeling good about the world.

When I am grateful, I seem to remember to focus on all the great things I have… as opposed to focusing on the things which I do not.

When I am grateful I seem to be more patient, more enjoyable to be around and more content with whatever the world happens to serve me. Gratitude is a great space in which to exist and though I certainly do not live in its glow as often as I should – or would like – when I do, I gotta admit life is pretty darn good.

Blessings, indeed, abound.

What a great holiday, huh?

Happy Thanksgiving!

So I am wiped out. Just wrecked. And I am sitting on a bench waiting for the Disney Magic Express Tour Bus to take me back to Orlando Airport so I can catch a flight back to Los Angeles. I have a cup of caffeine in my hand but it’s not doing the trick and I am thinking that if I just close my eyes for the 40 minute ride and re-caffeinate once I get to Orlando airport, then I’ll have a shot at my travel day not being entirely wasted due to the fact that I am so wasted from spending so much energy listening and thinking and chatting and yapping at NCTE.

And what’s the last thing you want when you are having that kind of blood-shot eyes type of morning.

Yep, that’s right… someone to walk up and start a conversation.

That’s when Mark Childs approached me. Mark is a guy I met online through the ECN and we proceeded to have one of the most interesting, thoughtful, dynamic chats – one of my top three – at the conference.

The guy is just so smart, so nice, of such good spirit – and really, really funny – that, well… it just shows the value of attending NCTE.

So many good people. So many great thinkers. So wall-to-wall with really fascinating stuff.

I ended up doubling down on the caffeine and writing the whole plane ride back, Mark having triggered so much “stuff” in me.

NCTE is in the books. Next year in Chicago. 100 year anniversary. Gonna be amazing.

As the NCTE buzz of awesomeness wears off, most attendees are left with the afterglow of energizing exhaustion.

So many great ideas. So many fantastic educational insights. So many tremendous authors. Too much in too little time and yet, so happy to head home.

For me, as always, it’s the real people that make the conference so special. I have made friends – the likes of which I only see once a year at the Annual Convention – and yet, as I get older, and we see one another year after year, our bonds become more deep and more special. (I know, I know, it’s a revolutionary idea that you can actually be friends with someone that you actually have met face-to-face… especially as I type this in blog-post format to be read by many online friends I have, the likes of which I have never met face-to-face.)

I’ve never been part of any real “organization” and yet, being a part of NCTE year and and year out feels like a right fit for me. And the idea that it’s an organization started 100 years ago by a group of semi-outraged English teachers sick of the buffoonery of the policy-makers, well… maybe that is why I feel as if for an oinker like me, this is my kind of mud.

Next year we convene in Chicago. I say that to plant the seed now. If ever you have had the itch to attend the National Conference, next year is your year. Chi-town is a great city, the talent, programs, and people who are gonna come in from all over the country is sure to be fantastic and when it comes time to say goodbye 12 months from now, you too can experience the afterglow of energizing exhaustion.

NCTE rocks! Officially.

So I left my hotel room at 6:50 a.m. and am just rolling back in at around 10:00 p.m. An absolute madhouse day… and so, so, so fantastic.

There is a temptation to name drop because NCTE really brings out the best and the brightest in our profession. I mean Linda Rief, Kylene Beers, Kelly Gallagher, Carol Booth Olson, Don Gallo, Barry Lane… on and on and on. Having the chance to chat with these folks one-to-one is what makes this conference so, so unique.

And next year the conference is in Chicago. NCTE will be 100 years old. (I am already excited and Orlando isn’t even finished yet.)

Peeps are gonna raise the roof!

Of course a perpetual highlight of my yearly pilgrimage to NCTE is getting to do a session with Jim Burke and Jeff Wilhelm. A room packed so full that grown adults were sitting on the floor to hear us.

I also did a session with Rodman Philbrick as well as Gordon Korman and Gennifer Choldenko. I got to hear behind-the-scenes stories about the writing of Freak the Mighty, Al Capone Does my Shirt and a bunch of thing Gordon has written. (Of course, I don’t really remember much of what Gordon said cause he had me laughing out loud the whole time. He’s really a stand-up comedian masquerading as a children’s book author.)

And finally, there was my first book signing for Nerd Girls. There was a line that stretched for so, so long I was there for 90 minutes signing books non-stop. Clearly, this is going to be my biggest book yet.

Lesson of the day: humor matters. (More blogs on that in the coming weeks.)

There are times when I think I am being too harsh on the bubble tests. When I ridicule and bash them almost ad nauseum. And why? Well, it’s because 1) I think we are egregiously over-testing our students, 2) we are egregiously overestimating the insight we can actually gleam from these narrow, if not myopic, forms of student assessment, and 3) it’s just downright fun to mock them because they are so egregiously full holes in their credibility no matter how you dare to look at them.

That’s a lot of egregiousness. (Thus my own egregious ridicule.) In this David and Goliath world of schooling, ridiculing them is both my stone and slingshot.

But like I said, sometimes I think it’s just me who really, really, really feels this way and folks would rather see me change tunes and not beat this dead bubble test horse into a cliche-riddled bottle of glue.

And then I read things by other folks I respect and think to myself, “Self… go ahead and mock the bubble tests some more. You are not alone.”

How do I know I am not alone? Well, look at what Program Chair Yvonne Siu-Runyan says in this year’s NCTE conference welcome message to the conference.

The National Council of Teachers of English ‘ohana (family) was officially formed on December 2, 1911 “. …primarily out of protest against overly-specific college entrance requirements and the effects they were having on high school English education”.

How cool is that? I am following along with a tradition of protest and I didn’t even quite realize it.

And then she says…

In this era of mandates, high-stakes testing, and sanctions, it is even more important for NCTE members to remember the roots of our organization that trace back to a group of advocates. Our work is most vital during this time of impositions, mandates, tests, and sanctions by those far away from the classrooms; much is at stake for an entire generation of students, who have been tested ad nauseam, sorted, categorized, and labeled, with little if any benefit.

I’m not a jester filled with mocks – I’m an advocate. Makes me sound classy, huh?

Remember our roots in this tradition.
Advocate.
Stand up to sanctions from those far away from the classrooms.

And look at that last line once again…

“…much is at stake for an entire generation of students, who have been tested ad nauseam, sorted, categorized, and labeled, with little if any benefit.”

Indeed, much is at stake.

To paraphrase one of the wittiest people of all time, Will Rogers, I say…

There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole bubble test industry working for you.

See ya at NCTE!