As the holiday approaches, I wanted to pass on a favorite family recipe of mine… Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies!

Make sure you follow the directions precisely for similar results. (And laughs. This is just too funny!)

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Cherry Mistmas !

What percentage of F’s in a class is it reasonable for a teacher to give? I mean what’s the dividing point between a teacher firmly drawing the line at demanding minimum competency and rigor, and a teacher who is simply not reaching their kids and flunking so many students that we clearly see that the educator is actually ineffective at their job?

If 80% of the kids in a class are failing a class, is the teacher not a part of the problem for the immense amount of failure in the room?

What about a teacher with a 12% failure rate?

A 45.6% failure rate?

Heck, NCLB takes graduation rate into account when it assigns us our AYP and API scores in California so if we do not graduate 100% of our kids, we, by nature, are penalizing ourselves.

Makes a nice case for grade inflation doesn’t it? Or going after teachers who flunk too many kids.

But some teachers are flunking too many kids. Or, I should say, “have too many kids flunking their class”.

So what’s the acceptable number? Is it zero? That seems unreasonable. Is it 79.9%? That seems excessive.

Is there anyone who can provide guidance on this type of thing?

A Bell Curve with 10% A’s, 15% B’s, 40% C’s, 15% D’s and 10% F’s is how they drew it up in the theory class I took once upon a time. But my own classes NEVER balance out like that. Not even close. (And seldom do any of the theory classes offer things that truly measure up where the rubber meets the road.)

So if we want to raise our AYP and API score, the method is simple — flunk less kids.

And don’t think that teachers aren’t having the screws turned to do so by admins who care more about “school ranking and scores” than student learning.

Because in the world of our current educational dysfunction right now, student learning and higher AYP and API scores are often at odds.

So, I ask again, how many F’s is a teacher allowed to reasonably give?

Move over Kindle — more publishers are on the way.

Upset at the land grab by Amazon into the arena of digital books — and not happy at the terms Amazon is muscling upon them — the forces of capitalism are saying “up yours!” and ramping up efforts to bring more new technology to the world of books, magazines and reading.

Check out this demo — things are changing fast.

Of course, the more they provide moving images, pictures, high end graphics, and sound, the less appeal it has to me as a reading device because the elegant simplicity of reading without interrupting my imagination by feeding it pictures someone else has created diminishes the experience for me — as opposed to enhancing it. I mean I am getting ready to go dive into the last remaining parts of Malcolm Gladwell’s book later tonight and trust me, I don’t need TIm Tebow jumping into my lap as I jump into Gladwell’s words.

For Sports Illustrated it’s kinda cool stuff. (And I like SI.) But for “books” I might be too old of a dog to buy into adding any tricks that really feel a bit like subtraction.

It’s an evolving medium though — and my mind might still yet change. But for now, books without pictures still constitute a very sweet part of my life.

Has anyone ever noticed that for a non-profit ETS sure seems to be making a lot of money? I mean look at that line-up they offer.

They “sell” (that’s right, they “sell” these tests… we rarely think of them that way though, do we?)…

They sell the SAT. They sell the PSAT.

I could stop right there. Does that sound to anyone else like a pretty good business to be in? I mean if people don’t want to buy your product, they can always… not apply for college.

Yet, the hits continue.

They sell the AP exams.
They sell the Praxis. (And boy don’t I feel that paying for and suffering through the Praxis really proved to be a critical part of my teacher preparation. I mean where would I be without it?)

They sell the CAHSEE. (For those of you not in my state, that’s alphabet soup for the California High School Exit Examination.)

ETS sells other stuff too but I am not really sure why. I mean it’s time to cry “Mercy!” ETS, you win. You are the best at what you do and you are doing it better than anyone else has ever done it before.

We give. Please respect our cries for “Uncle!”

In education, financial times have never been more dire. Yet in the testing industry, times seem to have never been more robust. And no one sees a relationship?

Call off the dogs, dudes… we’re dying on the vine out here. And if your mission really is to advance learning, then please recognize the stranglehold you have over us right now. We’re flailing out here. Flailing quite badly.

BTW, if a poison blowdart hits me in the neck next week — or suddenly you start to hear some mudslinging impugning my character, like how I was caught sleeping with Tiger Woods (hey, there’s gotta be another twist to the story, doesn’t there?) don’t say I didn’t warn you.

God bless ETS. I mean if you know anything about me, you know how much I find the whole industry of bubble tests to be 1) an absolute cash cow for the bubble test makers and 2) an unquestionably flawed means for either student or teacher assessment.

And now, ETS, is unveiling — from behind their magic black cloak of psychometrician darkness — the all new Personal Potential Index.

PPI bay-bee! You may not know it yet but one day it’ll be yet another acronym which joins your lexicon of educational alphabet soup.

Here’s some info on PPI.

In short, the PPI will be attached to the new GRE as an insight into a prospective applicant’s non-cognitive ability. (Stay with me here… this is worth it.)

As ETS says, the PPI is an index whereby “three or four professors or supervisors — generally those who will also be writing letters of recommendation — will answer a series of questions about candidates’ non-cognitive skills in various areas, as well as a more general set of questions. Applicants will be rated on a scale of 1-5 on questions about their abilities in these six areas: knowledge and creativity, communication skills, team work, resilience, planning and organization, and ethics and integrity.”

Let me repeat that. A student’s teachers will rate the kids “knowledge and creativity, communication skills, team work, resilience, planning and organization, and ethics and integrity.”

Now, being unsure of matters, I consulted the dictionary as to a definition of cognitive. Merriam Webster defines cognitive as “relating to, being, or involving conscious intellectual activity”

Uhm, excuse me… how are any of the “non-cognitive” skills “non-cognitive?”

Okay, forget I asked.

Uhm, excuse me… aren’t the quirky kids I am fond of “creative” and the quirky kids who annoy me “kids who demonstrate poor communication skills”?

Okay, forget I asked.

Uhm, excuse me… is this not an attempt to quantify unquantifiable things by people who might not really be best qualified to make these quantifications anyway?

Okay, forget I asked.

Uhm, excuse me… does this mean that sucking up is now mandatory instead of optional in order to advance in school?

Okay, I tease.

I guess on one hand I should tip my hat to ETS for finally acknowledging to their critics (like me) that their tests don’t give a full enough or broad enough or accurate enough picture of test takers even though they most certainly imply that their assessments do.

Because that’s really what this PPI thing is — a concession to that exact idea. I mean, by building this PPI thing-ey, they are tipping their cap to the idea that, “Ya know what… maybe their is more to a student than the ability to choose the correct bubble with a number 2 pencil in hand.”

Ya think?

The only thing I can for sure say as I watch this all unfold is that for a non-profit, ETS sure makes a lot of money.

My school district has already let us know that there are more cuts coming. Big ones. To personnel.

And it’s not just my school district that plans on breaking out the hatchet. More teachers are going to lose their jobs and I’ve even heard that some districts are talking about a 10-12% pay cut on top of drastic personnel cuts.

10-12%!?

At what point does the public refuse to accept this?
At what point do we refuse?

At my school, we took a 3% pay cut this year, furlough days, and lost a heck of a lot of teachers. Forget the lesser resources, no school nurse or librarian, an unfilled AP position, and more impacted classrooms.

BTW, lots of schools did likewise.

Question: Would you come back to work next year for 12% less pay, even less resources, and an even greater workload that is comprised of higher expectations with even less support? Are we powerless because they have the ability to hold our livelihoods over us or are we able to stand up and say no more?

Across the country, the web (this ning) allows us the opportunity to mobilize in a manner unlike any we have ever before seen.

Therefore, at what point do we refuse to accept the terms that are becoming more and more and more unacceptable?

Is a Tornado Sized National Teacher Strike Brewing? How Far can Teachers Be Pushed?

It could be done, ya know. And it would be historical.

Is push about to come to shove in 2010?

BTW, we could simply stop testing for 3 years and allow those billions to remain in the system to fund the actual “teaching” that the schools are supposed to do. Anyone notice how testing has not been cut while everything else has? Hmmm… I wonder who is making a financial killing off of that right now?

For the price of $65.00, starting in January, you will now be able to take a Los Angeles Gang Tour for Tourists. No joke… check out this article about it in the Los Angeles Times.

My first reaction was, these people are sick. And they are crazy. And they are looking to exploit inner city L.A. for profit.

And if they do that, it seems inevitable that this is going to end badly. And violently. And fast.

But after reading the article, and seeing how the founder of this enterprise wants to paint this as a human rights issue — and seeks to try and funnel whatever profits that may be had into the community in an attempt to revitalize some aspect of a sector of Los Angeles that is grossly suffering from dire economic hardship, I am not as skeptical.

I mean I am still skeptical, don’t get me wrong. Just not as skeptical.

But think about it for a moment, what is this tour exactly going to be? Is it a bunch of rich white folks who want to go slumming for an afternoon? Is it the international crowd, say a horde of Japanese or Argentinians who get picked up from a hotel in Beverly Hills and are then chauffeured in an air-conditioned gang bus past downtown to the southeast right through cities like Lynwood where I teach? (By the way, if I ever take the tour myself and see a student I know from my high school, am I supposed to wave, duck, or boast to all the other people on the bus, “Hey, I know that kid. He’s in my third period class!”)

Boy, wouldn’t I be the stud of the bus then?

Maybe the clientele is a a bunch of effete Frenchmen who once watched the movie Colors and like to play the hard beats of NWA over their Renault’s car stereo systems?

BTW, are gangs really going to grant “safe passage” through the hood for a brightly colored bus filled with tourists? I mean, isn’t one of the easiest criminal marks a crook could ever hope to target a tourist? Think about it, they don’t know their way around, some don’t even know the language, and they always travel with cash and expensive goodies because they have to pay for things like hotels, meals, and bus rides through inner-city gangland?

Oh yeah, am I the only troubled by the voyeuristic dehumanization aspect of this tour we might potentially be seeing here?

And for sixty-five bucks, what do I get? I mean is my driver packin’ heat? Like if they start shooting at us is someone on my bus gonna be shooting back at them?

Are there pit stops so that I can experience what it’s like to score drugs off the street?

Will I have the opportunity to write my name in graffiti on the side of a public building so that I can learn how to “tag”?

If I see a cop, should I flip him off, run, or drop to my knees and thank God that someone is about to save me from the Jurassic Park aspect of this stupid tour?

And if I don’t see any menacing looking homies who mad dogg me and make me think they are going to rip off my head and kill every member of my family, will there be some sort of refund? Like I wanna feel like I am going to die — but I am also hoping that the bus will serve lemonade, too… because as a tourist, it’s nice to have lemonade.

Oh yeah, can I get a tattoo to show that I am down for the hood? Just a henna though, please. My mom would kill me if she found out I used real ink.

For years I have said that while our attention is focused on an international war, our urban communities have been mired in a domestic war that is costing our citizens more of their lives, safety and sense of prosperity than anything going on in the middle east right now.

Truly, scores of kids die each year in urban America as a result of gang violence. As a teacher in L.A. and the author of the YA novel Homeboyz, I kinda feel I know what I am talking about to a small extent.

And now, you too can see what it’s like to live on the hard streets of gangland U.S.A. Don’t forget your camera — the trip promises lots of special photo opportunities.

Especially when you see the chalk outlines of 14 year olds. Those make for great stories once you get home and share your photo album with all your friends while sipping hot chocolate by the fireplace.

I tell ya, if it was white kids dying in America at the same rate of black and brown kids, lots of people would be singing a different tune about gangs in America.

And about tours that offer the chance to gawk.

Is there such a thing as “bad” kids?

Walking the halls of school and chatting (as I get to do) with teachers from all over the country, I often hear the term “the good kids”. They are the ones that (this is my own, rough definition here; one I am drawing by assumption) come to class, behave in a civil manner, make an attempt to respect authority, do their work and strive for [so called] “admirable goals” like good grades, graduation, becoming well educated, going to college and so forth.

Good kids are, well… good kids. We all kind of understand who they are.

But if there are good kids, by definition, that must mean there are also “bad kids”, right? It really is a question I am not sure I know the answer to.

I mean, the bleeding heart California liberal in me wants to say, “There is no such thing as a bad kid.” And a part of me wants to truly believe that. I really do.

But to work in an urban, title I school you see kids that deal drugs, commits viscous acts of violence, show absolutely no regard for authority on campus, actively seek to destroy our school through vandalism, graffiti, and so on… and generally show absolutely no interest whatsoever in pursuing any academic aspirations whatsoever. To some kids, school is nothing more than a social venue where they get their kicks causing mayhem, chillin’ with friends and trying to score a little nooky from the hottie they just made eye contact with in the hallway.

And when other campus employees refer to them as the “bad kids” I often find myself biting my tongue. I mean I work hard not to label kids good or bad — in my book, kids are kids are kids and they vary along such a diverse continuum that there really is no way to generalize them with such imprecise vocabulary words. Yet… when other campus employees use the term “bad kids” and are referencing the type of students that demonstrate behaviors like the ones I just listed, is it really unfair of them to call these young people “bad kids”?

I wonder.

And if not, is there even such a thing as a “bad kid”?

Some folks will blame the parents of the child and talk about how they are being raised. Some people will blame the kids themselves for not acting more intelligently, responsibly, properly. Some people will blame the school and teachers for not being able to do a better job of reaching these students. However, this is a different discussion.

The question is, is there such a thing as a “bad kid” when you work at a school.

And are we ashamed to admit that “yes, there are” out of a fear that we will be transgressing some sort of “moral spirit of what a teacher ought to be” if we do indeed cop to the idea that some kids are just “bad”.

Earlier this week I flew up to the Department of Education in our state’s capital, Sacramento, to get formally introduced to the new 2010 California Teacher of the Year Award winners.

Let me tell ya, it was ROCKIN’!!

In attendance: Jack O’Connell, the state Superintendent of Education, former Teacher of the Year Award winners from days gone by (that’s how I got an invite; it’s like the only real Skull and Bones Society to which I belong… and it’s WAY COOL!) and a host of other big kahuna CA. Dept. of Ed. staff… the really “high-ups” who make so many of the school wheels spin in our state (a state which, btw, serves MILLIONS of kids).

All and all I can’t tell you how invigorating a meeting like this can be. I mean how often do regular ol’ teachers get access to the folks who sit up at the highest levels of the food chain in public ed?

What never fails to amaze me, too, is how bright some of the minds in that room every year are. Truly, when you are kickin’ it with folks like that, even water cooler dialogue can turn into an epiphany. Without a doubt talking turkey with folks like this is just so informative/challenging/absorbing/confrontational/invigorating/fantastic and on and on and on.

If only more people could have a seat at this table. At least, that’s one of the big thoughts I had while sitting there (I even wore a tie so you know it’s got to be big) and so, with this post, here a few of the random thoughts/highlights from the day in no particular order:

– Kelly Kovacic will represent the State of California in the 2010 National Teacher of the Year competition. (I was the 2007 state rep… didn’t win the National, though — but the person who did – Andrea – was an amazing choice. Kelly, however, is one to keep your eye on. She is OFF THE CHARTS! Kelly teaches at The Preuss School, a charter middle and high school dedicated to providing a rigorous college prep education for motivated low-income students. Essentially, 100% of her students will be the first in their families to ever attend college. Talk about the front lines of The Achievement Gap, breaking the cycle of generational poverty and on and on… Kelly is doing WOW work… and doing it really damn well!

–We had good, deep chats about the P-16 counsel. I am not going to go into all the ins-n-outs but here’s a link to P-16 and let me tell ya, if we could pull this off, our state would be MUCH better off.

How to implement the recs cited above was a hot topic of discussion, though. And trust me, I spoke up big and bold about how our schools have devolved into the unfortunate circumstance of their raison d’etre now being — at least in too great of a measure — about how “the bubble tests are the tail wagging the dog.”

Spicy conversations to say the least because, as we all know, the bubble tests are on one hand foolishly backing our schools into a dysfunctional corner as if the entire world is about “how to correctly choose answer choice C” when presented a series of A-D answer choices (as if these are the most critical skills life will require our kids to possess. However, no one — not even me — is going to claim that we don’t need accountability and assessment in public education. It’s a complicated issue to say the least (How about another shout out for GROWTH MODEL ASSESSMENTS!?) and easy answers are nowhere to be found. PLUS, with dwindling resources, there are less people able to really look for them.

–Of course, Jack talked about the budget cuts. Let’s face it, what section of education has not been ravished? His own staff, his efforts, his ability to manage the demands of his position, and so on… the nuclear fiscal landscape has left no one unscathed (and most certainly not our State Superintendent). Publicly, Jack said this a few weeks ago… and this quote very much reflects the spirit of the meeting: “I am extremely proud of all teachers, here in California as well as across the nation, who in the past year, have had to endure devastating cutbacks in funding and programs as well as layoff notices and elimination of positions,” O’Connell said. “It is more important than ever to honor people who chose to become teachers and to celebrate this most noble of professions.”

See, recognition of excellence matters. There are so many folks in our state and nation that are doing INCREDIBLE work and with the way the media has tirned to bashing educators as if we are all a bunch of dirt-bag, newpaper reading, worksheet distributors who hide behind tenure and the unions day in and day out, it’s more important than ever to shine a light on who we truly are.

We are America’s educators. And we are proud of it. And we are proud of the work that we are doing. And we are working hard to do better work despite the incredible challenges, obstacles and political buffoons impeding us.

That room is one of smiles and positive energy and people who just absolutely LOVE being teachers.

And so, if there is one thing you take from this post, know that, Illegitimi non carborundum.

That’s latin for, “Don’t let the bastards grind you down!”

Why? Because there are a heck of a lot of people working their tails off right now who simply are going all out to make a difference in the lives of kids and teachers everywhere.

And without a doubt, they are being successful. Now it’s all about increasing our rate of success. And for many people in that room, that aspiration is their/our life’s work!

Makes me proud to do what I do.

NOTE: Here’s a pic of me and the State Supe givin’ and gettin’ some love for the Teacher of the Year Foundation.

I have become a “dealer” to my kids. A pusher. A peddler of ill repute. I serve up scandalous interactions, tortuous emotional dealings, torrid affairs, dangerous lies, inspirational heartbreakers and flat-out back-stabbing.

The worse it gets, the better [sometimes].

Yep, I am The Campus Dope Man. And the drug I push: books.

Indeed, once the cherubic naifs are hooked, I do all I can to serve the needs of these little fiends until they blossom into full blown addicts.

Addicts for a lifetime! (Or so I hope.)

The funny thing is, the younger I get them started, the better I feel about matters. Middle school playgrounds? I have no shame. Elementary school classrooms? Even better. Pre-school… don’t even get me going on how much I love to weave an entrancing spell over these unsuspecting youngsters, seeking to instill deep in their minds the idea that they need stories.

That they need literature.

That they need books even more than they need oxygen itself!

Hhhmmrraahh! Hhhmmrraahh! Hhhmmrraahh! I say, twisting my mustache. I am molding minds.

And my scheme, it is working! Kids each year come in my room at the oddest of hours – during lunch, before school, when they ought to be in goodness-knows-whose class asking me, pleading with me, begging me to feed their little habits.

“You started this,” they’ll say. And like any proud kingpin, I keep a face full of stone but on the inside, I just kinda laugh.

“Yeah, I did, baybee. Yeah, I did.”

See, around my campus, my students know “Mr. Alan’s got the hook-up on books.” Part of it is because I get free books sent to me all the time. (Perks of being a writer, folks. I mean butchers get meat and bankers get free money so why should my line of business be any different?) Of course, I buy books as well. Loads of them.

Matter of fact, I am the type of person that currently has 11 books by my bedside, 3 more at school, 2 in the car in case I am ever stuck waiting somewhere and still, if I see something I even think I might want to read at some point, I buy it.

Essentially, I can’t read all the books I possess. But, in a weird way (the kind of weird way I oughtta talk to my therapist about — item number 673 on the list for 2010) I very much find emotional comfort in being surrounded by books.

However, I do love to share.

Today, I shared 13 Reasons Why and I shared The Hunger Games. No extra credit. No bonus at the end of the quarter. No reprieve from the other work we are doing in English class. I just shared.

Sometimes I share the books I have written. Othertimes, I share the ARC’s that other publishers send to me for early preview before titles even get released. Essentially, I share and I share and I share.

Yet, no matter what, it keeps ‘em coming back for more. That’s the rule of being a good dealer, right? First you give ‘em a taste. A free sample of the good stuff. And then you tell them, “Don’t worry, this won’t hurt you. Go ‘head, I think you’ll like it.”

Soon enough, they even find themselves spending their own money on the product.

Indeed, I am the Campus Dealer. Hhhmmrraahh! Hhhmmrraahh! Hhhmmrraahh!

Twist mustache. Twist mustache. Twist mustache.