This is interesting… an engineering student (yes, a graduate student in engineering) not understanding the concept of an automatic sliding glass door.

And so he SMASHES THROUGH THE THING HEAD FIRST!!

Now at first, I thought, well, the guy is just an idiot. Except, then I realized, don’t we often try to solve a lot of our problems in schools in much the same manner — especially in the realm of NCLB. I mean when they don’t know the answer, instead of asking the people who might know, pausing, being contemplative, and the such, the powers that be just SMASH RIGHT ON AHEAD figuring that the consequences of having done so will be less formidable that the consequences of NOT having done so.

So on one hand, I see a Pakistani graduate student who is, let’s face it, kind of an idiot. On the other hand, I see an exemplification of educational symbolism in this day and age which drives me bonkers. I mean when I look up and see how we are treating our ELLs, our students with special needs, our children who are dealing with so many socio-emotional issues on the home front (and on and on and on) and witness how we make virtually no accommodations for these students and simply drive home the mantra of Test! Test! Test! well… it’s like smashing our heads through a glass door figuring “Hey, I gotta get out of this building, don’t I?”

New Year’s Eve is — and always has been — one of the most over-rated holidays on the calendar for me. Perpetual disappointment. (Actually, is it even an official holiday or is it just riding the coattails of Christmas in some way?) And while I am totally a night owl and will happily stay up chatting about most anything with folks until 3:00 a.m. if the topic/company warrants it — yep, been know to do it on school nights, too — getting obliterated, counting backwards from 10 to 1 and then pretending that I wished I were in Times Square watching the ball drop live, well… it’s just not my thing.

Times Square in January at midnight is cold and people are drunk. Mobs of people are drunk. Mobs of tourists are drunk. Call me old, but unless you’re a pick-pocket, being immersed in mobs of drunk tourists is, well… over-rated to say the least.

For me, my New Year always revolves around a school calendar anyway. That’s the true sundial of my life.

The approach of September is when new life feels as if it is about to bloom in me. There’s the back-to-school shopping I try to do in late August. (Often it goes like this: I know I should really get a new shirt or two but screw it, I don’t wanna go to the mall — so I am going back to Staples because, truth be told, school supply shopping brings me glee and in a hundred years it’s not gonna matter anyway).

There are the can’t really sleep the night before school jitters I still feel even though I’ve been at this so long my wife is bored with my, “I’m nervous about tomorrow, what if the kids don’t like me” neurosis.

I mean, face it… I could list a hundred little things that only a teacher would get. Essentially, I love the routine, the “plans”, the projects, the books, the conversations, and so on that swirl through my head this time of year. My life revolves around this calendar much more than it revolves around a January 1. I mean if I never saw another ball drop in Times Square (on TV or live — done both), I don’t think I’d really feel like I was missing anything in life. But if I didn’t have that, “it’s the first day of school next week, oh how I don’t want summer to end but oh how I’m excited to get back into the classroom again” inner conflict going in my life, I’d feel empty.

Lost.

I don’t even know if I could function without this sort of educational bio-rhythm. It brings order to my world. January 1 isn’t when the year starts — it’s when the year is about 42% over.

The year starts right about now and only the suckers who are forced to actually work “real jobs” don’t know it.

So I see that former TV star Tony Danza is thinking about starring in a reality show called TEACH. That’s right, a reality show. Currently, according to highly placed sources at some internet tabloid drivel I ran across while mindlessly surfing the web, I came across this story.

Yep, the guy from Who’s The Boss is gonna tackle the classroom. An inner city high school classroom in Philly. And what’s he gonna teach?

10th grade English. (Because any schmoe can do it I assume.)

Actually, I don’t want to jump to conclusions. Mr. Danza (or will he be, “Yo, Mr. D!”?) is supposedly doing teacher training right now to step up to the task. About a zillion questions cross my mind. In no particular order (and I have a feeling I am going to simply have to stop at some point before exhausting all of my musings):

Is he…

–Doing this to show how tough it is to be a teacher… much less be a first year teacher? Or is he doing it to show how easy it is to be a teacher if you just 1) care about the kids 2) try your hardest 3) are a good guy 4) are from the hood 5) speak their language 6)

–Expecting that teaching a class that is being filmed by TV cameras to actually resemble a class that is not being filmed by a crew of reality TV cameras?

–Of the opinion that he will be given the same treatment by the administration that all other first year English teachers are given in schools such as this?

–Taking the job/classroom of someone who was fired in the latest budget cuts?

–Planning to use this as an honorable platform to bring more positive attention to the plight of American students and educators?

–Planning to stick around or is this a one and done type of deal whereby he exploits all this media attention for whatever purpose he is doing this for in the first place and then planning to go back to living off of his TV residuals, real estate portfolio, etc?

–Going to be held accountable in any way, shape or form for the performance of his students (or of himself, for that matter)?

– going to have final cut over the show or is the Philly School District going to allow him to show whatever he wants, warts and all?

Remember when I said I have a feeling I am going to simply have to stop at some point before exhausting all of my musings… well, we are now hitting that point.

I mean why is the Mayor of Philly on board with this? Why is Tony doing this? Is the road to hell being paved with good intentions right before our eyes?

Tony, please don’t spoil my fond memory of you… on Taxi. You played the lovable lunk so well.

Look, I am a small, petty person prone to grudges and outbursts against the follies of people who I believe are negatively affecting the quality of life for others — especially when I believe they could be doing better (if only their intention was to do so).

Therefore, as a teacher, it’s hard to like the job Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing as the governor of California in terms of the way he is captaining our educational agenda. It just doesn’t seem to me as if he values our schools as much as I would like. To wit, click here.

However, as a man, a person, a real human being, he’s not all black and white. There are a few things I do admire about him. (Did I mention “How I Dislike Agreeing with Someone With Whom I Usually Do Not Agree”? See, I like putting people/things in a mental box… and then when they don’t fit, I am forced to change my own way of thinking. And if you know me, you know how I hate thinking… especially re-thinking. Arrggh!)

A few months ago Ah-nold gave the commencement speech at my alma mater, the University of Southern California (GO TROJANS!) and he laid out Schwarzenegger’s Six Rules for Success.

And while my initial inclination would be to mock them, after thinking about them, I have to say, it’s some good stuff.

And I would love it if my students took more of these things to heart.

Rule 1: Trust yourself.
Schwarzenegger advocates listening to your own heart to follow your own passions… passionately. On this we see eye-to eye.

Rule 2: Break the rules.
Again, this vibes with my own thinking a great deal. After all, if you want to make an omelet, ya gotta break some eggs and when I took out on the horizon, I see the status quo as something that perpetually needs to have its feet held to the fire… for if there is a better way to do something, go do it. And nothing ever really gets “invented” unless someone, as the Governator points out, “breaks some rules.”

Rule 3: Don’t be afraid to fail.
Fear of failure paralyzes people and often prevents them from giving their best effort. It wasn’t until I totally tried my hardest and BOMBED as a professional writer that I was able to re-group, re-evaluate and become a published author. Having just inked a deal for my 7th novel — after a series of rejections, mind you, from other very prestigious book publishers — I signed a new deal with Penguin. (Pretty spiffy, huh?) Getting rejected hurts, failing stings but not giving up and learning from our mistakes is critical. And often in life, one “Yes” will outweigh 20 “No’s” We have to be more willing to fail for it is the only real road I’ve personally ever known to successs.

Rule 4: Don’t listen to the naysayers
See rule 3 for more of my thoughts on this.

Rule 5: Work your butt off
There is no substitute for hard work in this world and while people may think I am a freak for saying so, I relish the feeling of giving a great effort. It feels good for my soul. And when I see students really lay it on the line and develop this muscle of “really trying when it comes to their pursuits” I feel confident in their abilities to become a success after they leave my classroom. There is no substitute for hard work. Ah-nold and I, once again, agree.

Rule 6: Give back
Teachers make a career out of giving. Matter of fact, that’s often how we measure ourselves. “Did I give enough to this student? Did I impart enough to that one?” …and so on. Seems to me that my own life functions better when I am trying to serve the needs of others — and when I get bogged down in getting what I want — especially when it comes to pursuing material goals — that’s when my life feels clogged and sputter-y. But when I am working to “give to others” I just feel good. It feeds me.

And so, there it is, Schwarzenegger and I agree… and who said pigs wouldn’t one day fly.

So I see that former TV star Tony Danza is thinking about starring in a reality show called TEACH. That’s right, a reality show. Currently, according to highly placed sources at some internet tabloid drivel I ran across while mindlessly surfing the web, I came across this story.

Yep, the guy from Who’s The Boss is gonna tackle the classroom. An inner city high school classroom in Philly. And what’s he gonna teach?

10th grade English. (Because any schmoe can do it I assume.)

Actually, I don’t want to jump to conclusions. Mr. Danza (or will he be, “Yo, Mr. D!”?) is supposedly doing teacher training right now to step up to the task. About a zillion questions cross my mind. In no particular order (and I have a feeling I am going to simply have to stop at some point before exhausting all of my musings):

Is he…

–Doing this to show how tough it is to be a teacher… much less be a first year teacher? Or is he doing it to show how easy it is to be a teacher if you just 1) care about the kids 2) try your hardest 3) are a good guy 4) are from the hood 5) speak their language 6)

–Expecting that teaching a class that is being filmed by TV cameras to actually resemble a class that is not being filmed by a crew of reality TV cameras?

–Of the opinion that he will be given the same treatment by the administration that all other first year English teachers are given in schools such as this?

–Taking the job/classroom of someone who was fired in the latest budget cuts?

–Planning to use this as an honorable platform to bring more positive attention to the plight of American students and educators?

–Planning to stick around or is this a one and done type of deal whereby he exploits all this media attention for whatever purpose he is doing this for in the first place and then planning to go back to living off of his TV residuals, real estate portfolio, etc?

–Going to be held accountable in any way, shape or form for the performance of his students (or of himself, for that matter)?

– going to have final cut over the show or is the Philly School District going to allow him to show whatever he wants, warts and all?

Remember when I said I have a feeling I am going to simply have to stop at some point before exhausting all of my musings… well, we are now hitting that point.

I mean why is the Mayor of Philly on board with this? Why is Tony doing this? Is the road to hell being paved with good intentions right before our eyes?

Tony, please don’t spoil my fond memory of you… on Taxi. You played the lovable lunk so well.

I think there is an interesting parallel to be drawn between this recent TIME Magazine article titled, “Why Exercise Won’t Make You Thin” and a longer school day and year.

Don’t really have a clue as to what it is, but hey, I gotta type something right now, don’t I? I mean if a blogger blogs in the forest and no one is there to comment… aw, forget it, I am WAY off track.

No, seriously, the point is, that exercise without attention to diet will not make one thinner. And so it also goes that longer school hours and more days in the classroom will not automatically make a student more student-y. Applying poor teaching strategies, using drill-n-kill worksheets, having kids read the textbook then answer the textbook questions in the back of each chapter and then have them do it over again for longer durations of time — well, simply put, these are not the answer to our educational ills.

Yes, I firmly believe we need more time in our classrooms. I do think the school year is too short. (After all, having the summer off was an agricultural need of society back in the day; these days the prime agricultural involvement of a teenager’s summer, if there is one at all, revolves around the agricultural product known as weed). The school day could use more hours as well. (I mean, as all studies show, the “witching hour” — that is, the time when kids get into the most trouble (i.e. fights, sex, drugs, shoplifting, and so on) — is between 3-7 p.m. A longer day that doesn’t start as early — so the kids aren’t as groggy — doesn’t strike me as such a bad thing. Sure, there are details to work out — and the inconvenience to all of us would be tremendous — but if we are seeking to best serve the kids, we do, in my opinion, need a longer school year and a longer school day.

But what goes on during these extended hours has got to become more productive. That’s the real issue. Doing something poorly for longer amounts of time isn’t going to make one any better at it. Doing it better will.

The jogger that eats jelly doughnuts doesn’t lose as much weight as the non-jogger who does not eat jelly doughnuts (and all akin junk food). Okay, I get it. And as much as we need to change our schedule (which we do), we moreso need to improve our intellectual nutritional offerings… that’s where we’re gonna make the real “weight” gains.

So what’s the answer? PD!!

PD — professional development — is the lynchpin. Without better preparing our nation’s teachers to do a more efficient, effective, more productive job, we are just re-arranging deck chairs. I mean let’s not mistake activity for productivity (to borrow a phrase).

And really, who does not need PD? I mean without people showing me how to bring things like nings into my classroom this year, it ain’t just gonna appear under my pillow the night before school as delivered by the Teacher Fairy.

PD: the national conversation not enough people are having.

I often make my way through this world as a consumer looking up and wondering, “Does the CEO of this company actually know that this is how his/her business is running right now?”

I mean do they fly commercial on their own airplanes like regular schmoes (I mean folks) like me do without warnings being sent to the flight crew that the big kahuna is on board so they better look sharp? Do they roll through their own drive-thru hungry for some dinner, have cable schedule a home repair that leaves them locked down at the casa for a nebulous 5 hour window on a weekday, or walk the aisle of their grocery store with a squiggly wheeled cart and then wait 10 minutes in the express lane for the lady with 17 items (in a 12 item limit line) to write a third party personal check from an international bank with only an expired library card as an ID to verify the purchase?

Do they? Do they? I swear, I doubt it.

Yet, they make those of us in the lower classes – like me – do it all the time.

So here’s a proposal. I say we make every principal and every vice principal in America’s public schools (grades 6-12) teach one class. That’s right, let ‘em teach one class.

They wanna know how the school is really operating under their leadership, let ‘em have to walk a mile in a real teacher’s moccasins!

Now obviously, this assumes that they could do it. I’ve had a host of principal’s and VP’s in my day and some of them seem like they surely could have stepped up and riffed cogently about direct objects and the such in a semi-intelligible manner. And then I’ve had others who seem like they’d have trouble unscrewing the dry erase marker cap.

Please don’t ask which side outweighed the other, either. (But to be fair, those dry erase marker tops are trickier than they look.)

But really, could there be a better way to actually see what’s going on at ground zero other than actually being at ground zero once a day? And none of this teach for a week nonsense. I am talking about taking responsibility for the education of 38 kids 1 time a day for 36 weeks. (Hey, they’re asking me to do it 5 times a day next year.) Would the benefits of insight not greatly outweigh the problems of schedule for these folks? I men how can a person truly and effectively be an administrator if they have no idea what it feels like to be “administrated” by their own concoctions.

And really, would any school remain the same if this rule were introduced? Would NCLB not be entirely re-written if the folks doing the writing actually had to teach some real kids before, during and after they wrote and implemented this legislation? How would the national standards that are being written look if the people writing them actually had to teach each and every one of them to proficiency within the scope of one school year?

And ya know what, let ‘em teach the honor’s classes, I don’t care. Those kids’ll drive a person bonkers just as easily as a a person working with the “below proficient” kids will. You can’t sandbag here. Put your boots on the ground for one period a day and walk the daily walk. I have a feeling it would create revolutionary change for the better.

I know many of these people used to do it. But now that they no longer have to do it, they seem to have forgotten what it feels like to be asked to a buncha things that don’t really seem all that intelligent/practical/feasible and so on to do.

I figure at best, the dictates from above would show some empathetic common sense for what’s going on below. And at worst, we’d at least be provided with simpler-to-open dry erase marker tops.

Here’s a story about one of my best friend’s in the world.

He got a parking ticket. And didn’t pay it. And then another. And didn’t pay that either. And then a few more. Never paid any of them.

So the other day, he was in a rush — had to get a package off to Fed Ex to meet a HUGE business deadline, the kind that causes cold sweats when big deals are on the line.

And he rushed to his car after getting the final documents notarized and poof! his car was gone.
Towed. Impounded. Hasta la vista, Bay-bee!!

He didn’t get the docs off, he literally “blew” the big business deal and he can’t get his car for another 6 days because that’s the earliest the DMV will schedule a time for him to pay his fines and clear all the “infractions” up.

Plus, it’s gonna cost him over two thousand bucks.

My dear, dear friend is the master of letting small little things turns into big, problematic headaches that end up costing him way, way more of a usurious tax than he ever thinks he is going to pay when he first decides to be slovenly about the “little” things in life.

He parks in red zones and doesn’t always feed meters because of the inconvenience factor. He doesn’t deal with his parking tickets for a few reasons. The first one, he figures, “Well, it’s just one little parking ticket… screw them anyway!… and he tosses it away.”

The second one, it’s kinda the same thing.

But then the third and fourth one come and since he didn’t deal with the first two, why bother to deal with these? (This is when the lying to himself starts, the ol’, “I’ll just deal with all of them at one time next week and be done with it.” Of course, he doesn’t deal with this stuff.)

And then he gets another ticket or two… and then he needs to go to Fed Ex with a do or die business scenario… and that’s when the cruel little Trickster that is life comes in and causes a meter maid to notice this guy’s car has expired registration — you thought otherwise? — and calls the tow truck.

The Domino Theory — and the last one falls with a bang!

My friend is a brilliant thinker, a great business person (yep, he really is… well, almost) and a guy who has declared bankruptcy twice in his life. Why? Because of the little things. They always get him. And he’s in his 40′s now, living a life of couldda, wouldda, shouldda... all because he thinks that life’s wee little parking tickets don’t need to be dealt with.

Kids and small homework assignments… in my class, they matter a ton. And I bust out the sledgehammer when stuff like this isn’ dealt with properly in my room because when students think that the “small” things won’t undo them in this world, it’s because they often don’t see how it absolutely ends up crippling people like one of my best friends on this planet.

A guy who, by the way, dismissively hits me with the”hard to get an old dog…” line when I try to talk to him about this stuff.

“Hard to get an old dog… MY ASS!” I tell him… as I drive him to him to the DMV. Geesh!

Before I lay me down to sleep this evening, I am going to say a prayer of gratitude for all the crappy teachers I’ve had and known. That’s right — for the really stinky ones. Why? Because, if you pay attention, you can learn as much from a poor teacher as you can from a strong one… at least in a few very specific ways.

Through being treated like a just another factory widget by some of my cynical, jaded, been at this job way-too-long type of teachers back when I was in middle and high school, I’ve learned how important it is for me to make sure that I make all my students feel welcomed into my class, respected and of individual value. As a current teacher I actively try to view my students as singular, unique people with likes and dislikes, aptitudes and challenges, different histories, different previous experiences and different emotional teenage baggage. By experiencing (hurtfully) the stuff that far too many teachers never offered to me, well… it makes me sensitive to how important this can really be to a child.

Through listening to to teachers in the lunchroom complain, moan, gripe and whine I’ve learned that if I want something positive done, I have got to be the first to pick up a shovel, roll up my shirt sleeves and start to break ground — otherwise, I am just another dissatisfied bitch-er bemoaning all that is wrong without putting in the sweat, initiative and work it takes to be a force for the change I want to see.

By seeing the teachers that ridicule and belittle our students as young people who are never going to be squat in this world, I see why it is so important for me to remain compassionate towards our “lowest achieving” kids. After all, who needs more help than the kids who need the most help? (Why we demonize these kids instead of embrace them is beyond me… yet, face it, we do.)

By seeing how some teachers refuse to budge in terms of their grading policy, I have learned to remain open to the reasons why my students may need more time, assistance and guidance — especially when I make the extra effort to find out what’s going on at home in their lives. When you teach in a community of high poverty, you realize that darker things go on in this world than anything I myself ever had to face when I was a student… and to not recognize the challenges for a kid to do well in school when they have issues like alcoholism, drug abuse, violence, sexual abuse issues and so on happening after they exit campus to deal with… well, remaining a humanist about other human beings strikes me as being more important than being a stickler about assignment deadlines.

By seeing how peers being rude to other peers on campus demoralizes all of us, I make an effort to show common niceness to others. (Even the idiots I can’t friggin’ stand! LOL!)

Of course, there’s more. But the bigger point is, by seeing that which I loathe, I get to see that which I can embody — at the opposite end of the spectrum.

All it takes is me paying attention to what I can learn when the people who are charged with the teaching fall woefully short of what I would hope that they would be.

So thank goodness for the duds… they are a professional development session all unto themselves.

Before School Starts Up Again…

I want to make sure I take back with me a sense of optimism about the upcoming year. I know it’s gonna be more challenging in many ways due to these absolutely BONKER budget cuts. However, just because we have less money to spend on our kids than ever (at least as long as I’ve been a teacher) does not mean that we automatically have to provide less of an education to our kids than ever.

And I believe they way to ensure that this does not happens begins with my own mindset.

My classes will be big, my resources will be diminished, and my colleagues most certainly can’t be expected to enter the year with the same hopeful disposition I am working to create for myself right now.

And why am I doing so? Because the kids deserve it!

But let’s be honest, if we could control our fellow peers on staff, we’d be more than the mere miracle workers we already are charged with being… we’d be absolutely LEGENDARY WIZARDS! (Alas, my magic wand just does not seem to run that deep with powers.)

And so, while I begin to shop at Target, the 99 cent store, Staples, Office Depot and so on, clipping coupons, hunting for deals, knowing that buying stuff like pens, dry erase markers, reams of paper, band-aids, tissues, hand sanitizer, and so on, I must remember that the most important thing I need to pack in order to prepare for next year is my attitude.

Cause if I don’t put a good one in my teaching bag right from Day 1, it’s gonna be a long, hard year. That table was set months and months ago.

Sometimes, the most important school supplies are the ones that can’t be purchased.