Time to be spooked. Parents should be spooked. Teachers should be spooked. The national workforce should be spooked. And kids (who are going to be on the wrong end of this stuff) ought to be very, very very spooked.

I mean, is this the wave that is inevitably going to wash over us all?

Really, how long before all of us — and by all of us, I mean ALL of us — are being mandated to teach this type of curriculum?

Essentially, it’s a curse of study — oops, I mean a course of study — explicitly designed to teach to the test. As the news article points out, all 29 elementary schools in one district are now being mandated to use the same literacy materials. (What a sale for the publisher of these materials though, huh? Betchya the commissions on that purchase order set a few heels to clicking!) And what literacy materials, you ask? Well, as the article says — and this is a direct quote — Reading Street (catchy name, I’ll give them that) uses, “workbooks” by means of “prescribing set amounts of time for different activities”.

As if Timmy at one school, Johnny in another, Sara in yet a third, Joe and Jackie in another and Paul in yet another school (I am too lazy to type up the names of 29 different kids) are all going to benefit equally from being fed the same mental nutrients as served up by a corporate behemoth who hasn’t even met Timmy, Johnny, Sara, Joe, Jackie and so on.

In the search for equity, are we not being unfair to almost everyone? If you are going to try and pull this off with every student in all 29 elementary schools in one district, will not the top get slowed down, the bottom get passed up and administrators concentrate most heavily on working towards the great, glorious movement to the middle where everyone understands the same concepts at the same time in an equal and measurable fashion?

And though I have not seen Reading Street in person (their website has lots of good buzzwords though with lots of fancy sounding near guarantees for success) I guess this also means if the test doesn’t test it then the question will inevitably arises as to why a teacher might teach certain content? (Forget the fact that their professional experience tells them it is of value… I mean, this is exactly how the test makers are shaping the direction of America’s schooling. He who makes the tests, makes the rules. (The new Golden Rule of Education.)

Good way to manage the widgets, that’s for sure? The folks in North Carolina are nervous… and in my opinion, rightfully so. Yet like I said, I have not seen Reading Street, haven’t touched it, haven’t used it, hadn’t ever heard of it til this week… thankfully!! But when I read this quote from a parent of a child at the magnet school in the district (and aren’t magnet schools supposed to be our shining lights in this haze of mediocrity we call U.S. public education?) I get spooked.

“I don’t feel that a top-down, corporate, admin-heavy approach is what’s going to improve learning for our children. I feel that our children learn from qualified, inspired teachers,” said Julie Maxwell, a Club Boulevard parent.

Really, who is going to argue with that? Other than the top, down, corporate, admin-heavy supporters of course… of which there are few — but they have power… a frightening amount.

Like I said, He who makes the tests, makes the rules!

Be spooked!!

I just read a line from a teacher who said this (and oh, it’s so telling)…

I love my school, but this year I’m trying real hard to be positive. I’ve taught novels the past two years and am now being told I must adhere to the textbook curriculum because of low test scores. Wow! Boring textbook anthology and worksheets are going to help my students do better on a bubble test? ARGH!

For me, I wonder where the data is to prove that sticking to the “textbook curriculum” improves test scores? Has this data been published? If so, I’ve never seen it — and I look for it.

On the contrary, I’ve seen a host of stuff from IRA and NCTE coming out against scripted curriculum (not the same as textbook curriculum but most certainly a cousin) because, well, it doesn’t work. Actually, there’s even an argument that it’s proving to be detrimental.

So where’s the proof?

Is it too much to ask for the proof? I mean data, data, data is the mantra that gets drummed into our heads by so many of these “bean counter types” in our schools who think that kids are widgets and if you just press the right mold hard enough, their lives, brain, attitudes and skills will conform in a way that will serve our nation’s schools and society well.

So this year, I am simply going to ask one straightforward question when people come at me with with the, “We need to stick to the textbook curriculum to improve test scores”:

WHERE’S THE PROOF?

And actually, might it not be argued that a textbook curriculum is what has helped to land us where we are right now? I mean they’ve been at the forefront of the educational wheel for a few decades now, particularly in the math and science realm where our scores (internationally speaking) lag in a particularly “ouch, that hurts to see!” type of way.

Perhaps the textbook curriculums are the culprit in some way? After all, in a world where we are all being asked to take ownership and remain accountable, I gotta wonder, how are the textbooks accepting accountability for their shortcomings?

Or don’t they have any shortcomings?

(BTW, if they need my help in assisting them to identify a few of these areas, I’d be happy to help. For instance, how about price, size, weight, tepid material, a one-size-fits-all mentality, overstuffed, sanitized and oh yeah… lacking data-based proof that using these materials actually improves bubble sheet test scores, which are a silly way to measure student success in the first place, but that’s for another post.)

Does anybody read Alfie Kohn? Thomas Newkirk? Readicide? Nancy Atwell? I gotta stop typing now because writing posts like this bum me out. For every ten teachers forced to use a textbook curriculum in the Language Arts (to the exclusion of novels) I’d guess that, based on my own unofficial feedback, that at least 7 or 8 of them are frustrated with the materials and feel boxed in and aggravated… and worst of all, not as effective as they believe they could be if they were unshackled from the mandates of people who do not actually have to eat the food that they are asking other people to dine on themselves.

For those who say, “You must teach the textbook curriculum to the exclusion of novels,” I say, “Hey pal, you go do it first… and prove that it works, because all the best teachers I know use real books in the English Language Arts classroom.”

I wonder if I would send my child to private school if I could easily afford to do so. And I bring it up because, for the parents who can afford it in America today, private school is where they (for the most part) are generally sending their kids.

Even if the local public school is good.

And why? Because if the local public school is good, I am assuming the private school is forced to be better if they are going to be able to charge the crazy fees that they do. And if the local public school is not so good, then the choice becomes even that much more clear cut for the well-to-do parent, doesn’t it?

See, right now I send my kid to a private pre-school. But that’s because there is no public pre-school option (ah, the short-sighted shame of this in California). And this week, I had a mandatory parent’s “before school even starts” conference, discussed a host of personal things about my child with 2 teachers as well as the school’s director during a 45 minute no kids allowed meeting and walked away feeling great about the school, the educators, the class size and the overall decision to put my child in this pre-school.

I imagine for the parents that are shelling out the approximate $30,000 per year for private school at the K-12 level (that’s the average cost out where I am — and some parents have 2 and 3 kids in these schools… but pre-school is not nearly that much, though it’s certainly expensive) they leave the parent/teacher meetings feeling pretty much the same way I did today. And I liked this feeling. I want this feeling. I think I need this feeling. I mean what parent doesn’t want to feel as if their kid is not going to be getting the best of which that can be begged, borrowed and/or stolen?

This sentiment is certainly what drives so many people to immigrate illegally to the United States (i.e. a better opportunity for their children in the Land of the Free).

Is it a true statement to say that while public schools can be good, private schools are forced to be good or else they will cease to exist?

And is there a way to force public schools to be as good as private schools are apparently forced to be?

One of the biggest problems I have with our current national assessment system is that they have almost mastered the art of shaming and belittling those who do not make the cut while doing an exceptionally poor job of of recognizing those who have made strides in a positive direction or really give an exceptional effort at doing more with less. It’s as if under-performing the task of meeting their objectives deserves a SHOUTING DOWN FROM THE ROOFTOPS while those that make gains, small, medium or even large, get virtually nada other than a stuffy look over the nose of horned-rimmed glasses with a sense of, “Come on, ya know you gotta do better, right?” attached to their gaze.

When it comes to fear-mongering and draconian punishment, our national assessment system knows how to make front page news out of any school in the nation. When it comes to positive, small steps in the right direction, they don’t even know how to send over a “pat on the back” well-done, thank you card.

And really, who wants to work for a boss that only knows how to highlight your shortcomings without knowing how to recognize your achievements? I mean come on, to look at all that is actually being achieved in our schools today — and oh yes, there is a lot — you would think by the way it gets acknowledged by the powers-that-be that there was actually little to nothing of merit actually going on in the halls of our nationa’s educational system.

For example, my principal and I had a 45 minute phone call last night that started at 9:15 pm and school doesn’t even start until Friday. Actually, it was supposed to start on Tuesday but there was no money for “buy back” days so Tues and Wed were scratched due to budget cuts. So then Thursday was supposed to be our first day back but that was scratched as well because now it’s a furlough day. So essentially, we will start with Friday as our first and only day back with adults only before school actually begins (with kids) on Monday.

That’s one day to get a staff of nearly 200 people ready to go. In a school that is on Dante Circle of NCLB hell number 6 or something like that right now.

Uhm, hello… are we not already being set up to under-achieve just a wee bit. I mean I wonder whether or not everyone is even going to be able to get their room keys on Friday — forget being all on the same page as far as the zillion other details that run hand-in-hand with being part of a huge urban school go.

And does our school get any credit for the fact that there are a host of folks preparing on their own time, using their own money? Does my principal get any love for have left 19 days of paid contractual vacation time on the table this year so he could work to do a better job for our kids.

Where’s the attention to that?

When the month of May rolls around and Lynwood takes it on the chin (not they we absolutely will — it’s not a foregone conclusion and I certainly am holding out hope we can turn this puppy around — and working my tail off to do it as well), I wonder if it comes with at least a recognition of, “but to their credit, back in August, do you see what kind of effort they were at least trying to make?”

In too many ways, August can be the tail that wags the dog.

There are a lot of “if only” type scenarios when it comes to reaching teen readers — especially reluctant teens readers — but I’d say if there was one “if only” chip I could be given to cash in and nevermore be able to moan about how difficult the task can sometimes be to get kids to read books, I’d say that I’d lay claim to the “If only our students came to us as blank slates” chip, take my winnings and shut my trap.

Because the truth is students don’t come to our classrooms as blank slates. They come into our classrooms carrying baggage. Emotional literacy baggage. Lots of it. And so much of it is negative. I mean I don’t start the year with a room full of teenagers who are at ground zero; I start off the year with a majority of kids who come into my room overtly disliking (if not outright hating) the act of reading. They finding reading to be a punishment, writing to be onerous and the applied combination of the two, reading and then responding to the reading through writing, to be like a trip to the dentist that is tragically exacerbated by a mandatory referral to an orthodontic specialist.

Goodness, I’d LOVE it if my students came to me as blank slates… but they don’t. And a great amount of my work is actually repairing the idea of how reading can be an awesome, worthwhile and exceptionally valuable experience. It’s a point that I do not think gets enough talk time in our professional conversations. Most of us, unless we are teaching honor’s classes at a high scoring API and AYP schools in high income socioeconomic districts, are being assigned rooms filled with kids who simply put, have a poor relationship with literacy which results in them not really being all that fired up to actually participate in too many literacy related activities.

And who can blame them? I mean if you take a moment to think about an area in which you are weak or do not much like (for me it’s auto mechanics — I couldn’t make a carburetor carb or a piston piss to save my own skin), you’ll probably also find a lack of enthusiasm to actually do much in the way of work in that arena. (I know I get pissed when I am asked to make my car pistons piss.)

So why do we not better address this? So, so many of us are starting our school years with an uphill battle and yet, the powers-that-be regard matters as if we are starting on a slate-has-been-wiped-clean, even-keel tier. It’s just not true. Our students are entering our rooms with emotional language arts baggage. And let me tell you, some of them are carrying Louis Vitton!!

Nope, one of my foremost tasks at the onset of a year is to create new perceptions of literature and literacy because the ones they all-too-often enter my room with are tattered, battered, jaded and cynical. I mean the fact is, I’d rather have a group of “far below basic” kids who are motivated than a group of “exceeds proficiency” kids who are blase’ — or even worse… victims of, as K. Gallagher so aptly put it, Readicide.

Cause so, so, so many of my students at the start of every year are.

So everyone realizes that virtually every Human Resources person worth their salt at almost any decent-sized organization in this country checks the internet as a means of doing a background check on potential future employees, right? I mean this is something I talk about with my high schoolers. Putting pics of yourself doing beer bongs, smoking out of real bongs, taking off your clothes or being absolutely SMASHED out of you mind on the internet is a bad idea. (Note: I am not naive enough to pretend that my students don’t/will not “party” at some point — especially before they are of legal age to do so — so I warn them about this. However, if you want to debate the “I should be wagging my finger at these kids, not teaching them how to avoid paying the price if they should behave this way” aspect of things, that’s for a different blog post. This one here is zipping off in a different direction.)

And since the internet seems to have a better memory than even the most keen elephant, it’s more important than ever not to do stupid things when you are young that might jeopardize you future ability to be hired for a job even as much as a decade or two later after you have engaged in the stupidness.

Now trust me, I have done stupid things before. Lots of them. But (thankfully) they were before the age of digital cameras/ cell phones with video and YouTube/FaceBook/MySpace and so on. I mean even if those rumors are true about me and the mastodon in the taxidermist’s off back in 1987, there are NO photos to prove it. (And I am not saying they are true, BTW — it’s pure conjecture and there’s no proof!)

So essentially, it’s more important than ever for young folks to try and make sure they don’t do anything that is going to automatically show up as a “top hit” on google when a potential employer decides to do a little “unofficial online bg check” on ya.

And if I could think of one sure way to cause any future employers to NEVER EVER WANT TO DARE HIRE ME, it would probably be because they’d be scared that if they brought me on board, I’d end up getting them embroiled in an expensive, potentially calamitous, possibly frivolous lawsuit. I mean you just don’t want to be young and start looking for jobs in this day and age with the monkey of a, “WARNING: Hire me and I might sue you for absolutely no legitimate reason” sign on your back.

But that doesn’t seem to have stopped this young lady. Meet Trina Thompson, 27, a recent college graduate who is suing the college from which she just graduated because she can’t find a job and feels as if, in some way, it is the college’s fault.

Now I don’t know if Trina is gonna win or not — the college certainly seems to think these allegations are without merit — but doesn’t Trina realize that she just ID’d herself as a person who, if you do hire her, is one of those folks who might slip on a banana peel somewhere in your office and end up trying to bring down your entire business… even if she was the one who ate the original banana in the first place and failed to discard of it properly?

Trina, Trina, Trina, I am not sure what they taught you in college but you do seem to have one thing going for you: your sense of how the real world works appears woefully deficient. You just identified yourself as one of those “suer” types… and folks in HR work long hours not so much to find”great rock star employees” as much as to avoid hiring human train wrecks that are going to do real damage to their business.

And guess which category your top hit on google just put you in?

So let’s not rush to judgement about the demise of “brick and mortar” schools and race off into the “digital high schools will replace education as we know” just yet. Why? Because, it seems that the skill set needed in order to earn an online high school diploma is not quite as rigorous as it is in a traditional high school. Like for one thing, the students, apparently, don’t even need to be of our same species.

Yep, an online high school just awarded a degree to a cat.

And as if the media needs more reasons to pile on teachers and paint us all us incompetents doofs, here’s another fabulous story about an educator — the tale of the of the New Mexico driving teacher who got popped for drunk driving. Ain’t that kinda like me bein’ an English teecher not comprehensibilitizing and applicationifying the prooper rools of grammer and speeling?

But proof lives everywhere that we are simply not doing enough to serve the intellectual needs of our students. I mean come on, some teacher somewhere has to take some ownership over this mistake. Seems a guy gave his ID and bank account number to the teller… right before he robbed the bank. Truly, I do not think this reflects as poorly on this person as it does on all of us in the field of education. After all, are we not our moronic brother’s keeper?

And last on my list today is Mr. Phil Spector. Seem Ol’ Toupee (btw, has there ever been a less flattering mug shot taken of a celebrity? Here he is in court. Here he is after arrest number 1. And here he is in the Big House. Scary!!) wants a new prison cell because is not happy with his neighbors. Do people convicted of cold blooded murder get to have requests such as these honored? I mean I’ve never blasted away an associate and tried to cover it up in my classroom and yet, does my principal respect my wishes when I ask him to install a jacuzzi in my room so I can be a more relaxed, better-rested educator? Would working for a warden be an upgrade?

Hmmm… much to wonder about in this wacky world.

Walking through the airport to go do some PD for a school in Texas this week (BTW, I’ve been on the road WAY too much this summer) I found myself, as all of us inevitably do when we travel, in a security line.

A security line that was going absolutely nowhere.

Goodness, I said to myself, don’t we all just love how efficient airports are these days? And with nothing to do other than to contemplate the inner machinations of brilliance on display and try to take a replicable lesson from the underpinnings of unparalleled competence and unrivalled excellence so clearly set before me, I started pondering “ways to improve the system”.

That’s right, I decided to take on TSA (Travel Security Administration) at LAX (Los Angeles International Airport and Cattle Car Corporation).

The first thing they needed, I realized, was an API and AYP score. I mean how could I truly begin to gage their effectiveness if I did not have a basis of comparison? So I recognized, right then, in order for me to truly assess TSA at LAX I’d be needin’ me some bubble tests.

Bubble tests to make the employees jump through a whole host of hoops to measure the qualifications of the aspiring employee before they were hired. (And if they didn’t get enough correct bubbles the first time, I’d send them back to choose more bubbles.) Bubble tests to measure the job these employees were doing as they performed their duties. Bubble tests, bubble tests, bubble tests. Trust me, I saw about a zillion places I could use them.

That lady frisking the mom with the 3 month old questioning the contents of the breast milk – had she been given enough bubble tests to administer such a rousting, I wondered.

(Note to self: invest in a company that makes bubble tests… it’s a growth industry.)

That’s when I realized that if I really want to improve TSA at LAX I’d be needin’ me some really good bubble test graders and bubble test makers, too. Yep, some psychometricians with fancy degrees in order to create fair, accurate and equitable bubble tests so that my bubble tests did not discriminate against any airport employees based on cultural, racial, gender-based, or sexual preference differences.

After all, bubble tests that aren’t fair might taint the reputation of bubble tests everywhere and being a public school teacher in the day and age of NCLB, I could never dare to take such a risk.

Of course, I’d go further! Does anyone realize that security folks in airports nowadays don’t get paid by the customer; they get paid by the hour. This means that whether or not they process 30 people in sixty minutes or 60 people in sixty minutes, they get paid the same either way.

Merit pay… that’s what this system needed (once the bubble tests were in place of course).

I was on a roll!

I cooked up all kinds of great ways to improve the system such as instituting a hierarchical system whereby the people who run TSA at LAX would never have had to actually work as a boots-on-the-ground TSA employee at LAX. (i.e. Real experience might muddle their thinking.) And then I’d make all passengers take off their shoes, belts, watches, cell phone and shimmery low-cut underwear. (What, you didn’t think I’d abandon their best ideas, did you?) I would come in and revolutionize TSA at LAX!

Then the line started to move and I realized, “Yo, Doof-o… you don’t have any idea what you are talking about… a system like that would never work.”

So I grabbed my low-cut shimmery underwear off security’s conveyor belt and jumped a plane to Texas.

Do we need a longer school year filled with more intensive learning for our nation’s children? How in the world can you not vote yes when you see some of the products of our current system?

And if you need more proof, here’s another 4 minutes worth of goodies…

A few laughs: who don’t they help through the week?

So how do we create stronger bonds in our schools? I mean relationships are everything, right? Without camaraderie, without trust, without believing truly in the heart, soul, and good intentions of the people for whom we work, how can a school really be expected to function?

So I have a proposal. I say the only people who should be allowed to work as administrator in public education must pass the test of the wife as seen in this clip.

You wanna be principal of this school? Hold the glass, hand any teacher who wants a weapon and tell them, “I believe in you as a professional” three times.

Pass this test, you too can be considered “highly qualified” to be a principal or superintendent in America.