Turns out the mindless bubble tests I blogged about being mandated a few days ago is the first stage in the NCLB process of being taken over by the state. “Teams come in” don’t seek any input from anyone currently in the school and mandate bubble tests so that they can “evaluate” where to place next year’s kids.

And when I look at the silliness of this test, I realize they are about to come up with numbers whereby they are going to be able to prove that over 90% of our kids are deficient… and then, they can just give an easy bubble test in 3 years and viola! look how many more kids are doing well thanks to the brilliance of the “intervening state team”.

And all of us have our hands tied. Either do what they say “or else”. Not sure what “or else” means but the current administration on campus has absolutely no voice in this. Matter of fact, to their credit, they don’t even want us to give these bubble tests anyway. They know they are weak. They know that huge money is being made by corporate folks who are complicit to the madness. They know that we are very small fish in a very big pond and when the shark swims by, the guppies have to do what they are told

Sheesh, my school is being set up like tourists in a New York City game of 3 Card Monty.

And how long before this happens to you?

When an A student plummets to an F student, when their attendance drops off a cliff, when their demeanor changes from one of youthful, sunny, brightness to quiet, somber stoicism you just know something is wrong.

Jennie (not her real name) just hit that nail on the head. So, as I always do, I pressed her to find out, “What’s up?”

Turns out she was walking around our school about 2 months ago long after the day had ended, iPod in her ear looking for a private corner to read one of the books for my class (the irony of that it was the book Speak is just too thick) when 3 boys — she is not even sure if they went to this school — tried to rape her.

“Tried” she said. (Yep, it happened on campus — we have a really large facility, lots and lots of nook and crannies.) But she also mentioned she had “surgery” a few minutes later in her disjointed description so a part of me fears that they were successful. Details were convoluted to say the least and I am not going to go deeply into them because really, what the F*&% difference does it make? A young girl, a student of mine, was violated.

Stories like this used to break my back. And they still do but I have matured enough to realize that the pain resides with the student before it does with me and so I recognize that my role is to best serve the needs of Jennie as they stand now and not wallow in the moral implications that events like this have for me, personally, or society at large. And so I did my best to say some very encouraging things, offer all a bunch of resources (counseling, therapists, police, etc…) and so on.

Let me tell you, this girl Jennie would make any parent or teacher proud — and the fact that sexual assault is so prevalent in American society is something that just rips me up. I mean when she told me the story, she did it from a perspective of blaming herself. About how she shouldn’t have been walking around alone long after most folks were off campus, about how she should have known better and so on.

Makes me ashamed. Of my school. Of my city. Of my state. Of my nation. And the thing is, today was a day whereby I started with a ton of pep in my step, a day I was ready to really teach from the rooftops. And now… well how am I supposed to feel?

In so many ways, this incident is not about me and I feel selfish for feeling so hurt. Then again, when something like this happens to any kid, a part of our collective hearts simply sinks.

Some people are already on summer vacation. Some of us are still in the salt mines. Yet no matter where we are, this stuff stings… and when-oh-when will this nuttiness stop.

In Karma I trust. That’s where I take solace. At some point, in some way, at some time, karma… it gets us all. I think this belief is at the core of where I find the strength to go on and not leave the teaching profession. I mean I love teaching, but this stuff kills me.

Just when you think the bubble tests are over I get slammed with a bubble test that all my 9th grade students must take in order to “place them” in an appropriate 10th grade class.

70 questions. Passage upon passage of reading that is almost purposefully dry and needs a sense of prior knowledge of its historical context to appreciate… and what’s it going to show?

Zilch, if you ask me. I mean to give this kind of test to my kids right now is to beg them to simply Christmas tree the thing. Didn’t we just undergo a HUGE series of bubbles tests, the kind that shut down the entire school? And aren’t we but weeks away from the end of the year? And aren’t I about ragged about fighting with the higher-ups about the ridiculousness of these tests?

Are we over-testing? Geesh, we just got done with state tests, we we required to give district worksheet pre-tests as practice for the tests and now they want us to simply give these tests?

What the hell do they expect these tests to prove? Let me guess:

Our English Language Learners have low literacy skills. Check.
Our Gifted and Talented Kids overwhelmingly do not score in the “Highly Proficient” realm when standardized tests are given thus calling into question whether or not our “gifted” kids are really gifted. Check. (But if you know anything about G.A.T.E. one can be identified as G.A.T.E. as a result of aptitude in any number of modalities and just because a kid is wicked with visual puzzles doesn’t mean they are going to score off the charts in the grammar section of Bubbleville, U.S.A.)
Our district is struggling with how to do something to get the state off its back because we keep sliding lower and lower down the NCLB Dante Circle of Hell Scale since it seems we are a wee bit behind when it comes to having all of our kids be at “proficient level within the next 5 years” — so they are starting to turn the screws on us now. Check.
Our kids have absolutely no breaking point and if they do, we are going to find it so we know what not to do in the future. Check.
Our teachers? Oh they are just chimps-for-hire… it’s their job to simply do what they’re told. Check.

It’s freakin’ lunacy! And I stormed out of school ready to pop a blood vessel cause, of course, there was no notice given to me. There was no feedback sought about the sanity of this system. There was no input asked for whereby my opinion — or any other teacher’s — was courted to see how this might fly. I mean, what are we, chopped liver?

But these bubble tests were simply delivered to my door today with the mandate that they get administed so that kids could be properly placed in next year’s class sections.

Huh? Excuse me. A couple of questions? Are these tests the only criteria for their placement next year?
No answer.
If not, what weight do they hold?
No answer.
Are there other mitigating factors in determining who will be “placed” where?
No answer.
Who wrote this test?
A textbook company. That’s right, they simply copied it from one of the pre-packaged, corporate monsters that have their meathooks in our school’s wallets. Here’s question number 30.

The following question is not about the reading selection. Read and answer the question.

We borrow words as well as customs from other cultures. From the names of the Norse gods Odin, Thor, and Freya we get which words?
F) Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
G) origin, thirsty, frightened
H) alpha, beta, kappa
J) January, February, March

Like I said, this is just one of 70 questions. Anybody else think that there might be something wrong with this.
1) I taught absolutely NO Norse mythology this year.
2) Why do they use an F, G, H, J system. First of all, 99% of bubble tests use A,B,C, D and if you work with real kids, you know that to throw in F, G, H, J is to throw them for an unnecessary loop. Furthermore, why did they skip the letter I? Look at it, it goes F, G, H, J — it’s ridiculously and unnecessarily disconcerting.
3) Not even the teacher knows the answer. Burn me in the pyres of Odin but I don’t really have a freakin’ clue what the correct answer choice is — and I have a master’s degree in cross-cultural language arts. My 15 year old English Language Learners though, I am sure they are gonna nail this.
4) How much money did my school pay to this textbook company for these kind of resources again? And in light of the fact that a big percentage of our staff was laid off due to budget cuts, might we not be accused of financial imbecility?

Do I need to go on? About a thousand demoralizing questions popped up… and so, I left. I left school without even raising the issue.

Way too infuriating. Way to mindless. Way too cooked up in the ivory towers of people who do not really know what’s going on down on the ground floor. And no one even explained that we’d be giving this test to me face to face.

Then again, I can kinda see why? I mean would you want to be the one to tell me this is the program, now jump onboard and close your mouth please? That’s why they simply sent a student, an office T.A. with a pile of tests and answer sheets and absolutely no information at all so that if I dared to interrogate this kid, he’d legitamately know nothing.

Of course I snapped at him, “Who gave these to you?”

“I was just told to give these to you.”

“Who told you?”

“They did?”

“Who?”

“The front office.”

“Who?

“I dunno. They just told me to give you this.”

Yep, they sent a patsy!

Makes my blood boil. But of course I know where it came from. But that person got it from a person who is having the screws turned on them. And that person is having the screws turned on them. So in the midst of all this screw turning, stuff like this happens. “I mean we gotta do something, right?”

Aaarrggh!

And then, just when I thought all is lost, I came home to this email… and I calmed down.

Dear Mr. Sitomer,
I just received my copy of your newest book, The Secret Story of Sonia Rodriguez and felt compelled to write you to tell you not only how excited I am to read your newest book, but how much of an impact your books have had on hundreds of my students.
I am a middle school math and reading teacher in an low-income, high minority, industrial area of Denver, CO, called Commerce City. (Not much unlike the Commerce City in California.) I discovered your books 2 years ago when I was attempting to instruct quite possible the most reluctant readers on the planet. Since that time, I have purchased over twenty of your books and used them to convince hundreds of teenagers, especially boys, that reading in fact does not “suck.” Your stories more closely resemble my students’ lives and they are able to see themselves in the characters. I anticipate your new book will hit even closer to home for them.
I hope you continue to write for along time so that my students will always have something amazing to read.
Thank you for what you do,
Lacey S Taschdjian
Adams City Middle School
Commerce City, CO

Is it just me or is every teacher’s life one of mood swings from depression and I hate this shit! to Man, it’s great to do what I do, trying to help kids and other teachers… like every day of our professional lives?

Aaarrggh!! And to think that some people are on summer vacation and I am going through this right now. For those of us on staff still, we approaching the point of requiring medication.

It’s Monday, June 1, 2009 and Lynwood High School ends on June 26, 2009. That means there are 25 days left until the end of the school year and 20 more official teaching days left.

But you wouldn’t know it if you came to my first period class today. 35% of my students were absent.

That’s right… 35%!

And why? Well, the answer I got when I freaked out on the kids who actually did show up was that, “Well, the school year is almost over.”

Excuse me? (Deep breath, Mr. Alan!)

WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?

Actually, I know exactly what they are talking about. This was more for theatrics, a bit of Bobby Knight throwing a chair to make a point, catch everyone’s attention and right my classroom’s ship… and quickly!

But even though I’ve been here for years – and been through this for years – it still makes me want to FLIP OUT!!

So how do I respond? By turning up the heat. More work. More teaching. More everything. And why?

Because there are only 25 days left. The perspective through which my students view the last month of school and the way in which I view it are so diametrically opposed it’s bananas. And the thing is, in a way it’s like I am fighting a culture war here.

And if you are keeping score at home, my army is under-equipped, outmanned and ill-prepared to win the battle. Yet we will cede no ground. My class goes bell to bell, September to June, year to year.

And being that it’s NBA time and the Finals are on us right now (Go Lakers!) I believe there is a great deal of value to be found in looking to sports.

Who are the icons of the sport’s world? The folks who deliver in the clutch, who close strong, who deliver in the end when it really matters. Think about it, when is the most critical time of any game? The fourth quarter, the last 2 minutes of the second half, the bottom of the ninth. This is where the mettle of folks is shown.

And teachers who cash out come June make it really hard for those of use who realize that 9 weeks of summer is already enough of a detriment to our nation’s kids (yep, I believe we need a longer school year — but a more effective one as well… simply spending more time being as ineffective as we currently are isn’t going to help anything — we need more school AND we need better schooling) that we don’t need peeps folding up their tents before the gig is even up.

Now is the time where I want to see my kids at their best… not at their most lazy and apathetic. June 1 is message day for me, the day where I fire a shot across the bow of my class and say, WARNING: bring heat or do not enter this room. A psycho teacher is on the rampage and only excellence will do.

Does it work? Well, I do feel like I certainly reach a lot of kids with this approach. And it’s the proverbial teachable moment for my kids about positive habits in life.

But most importantly, though I may be losing the culture war, the battle to treat education seriously in the state of California, I can sleep at night knowing that at least I gave it my best effort.

I can’t control what other people do. Not the parents who buy into the shenanigans of their kids, not the other educators in our state who simply phone it in during the last few weeks of school, not the Governor who wanted to cut a few days of school off the back-end anyway thinking it made for sound economic policy… no, I can’t control any of that.

But I can work my kids to the bell, making them intellectually sweat like Kobe Bryant closing out a game when all the chips are on the table late in the 4rth quarter. You may not like Kobe as a person, but you have to respect the heart he shows as a basketball player — especially when it’s all on the line.

And like I said, this mentality helps me sleep like a baby over the summer… because I know I tried.

Could we now be entering the age of meaningful work? Goodness, that’d be nice huh.

I mean what the greed and excess has done to our nation, well, we will really have no idea as to the tally of all this mess for quite some time. But if there is a silver lining to this quite dark cloud, might it be that people will stop chasing mere money as their ideal professional aim and instead seek personal meaning in their work? Or at least look at the idea of meaningfulness as a supremely important ingredient to their choice of career.

Personally, meaningfulness was the number one factor for me in determining what I would ultimately do. But I come from a family of lawyers and my dad, though a wicked smart barrister, never really liked the job all that much — so while my grandmother glowed with the idea of one day their being a Sitomer, Sitomer and Sitomer law firm (there was a Sitomer and Sitomer firm already), my dad let me know that doing what really wound my clock was much more important than chasing the illusive cash promised by high white collar career choices and the vacuous promise of offices with nice leather chairs.

My dad had many faults but on this one he was spot on. I had permission to choose, to go where the gravity pulled me and not be tempted by the siren call of material benefits holding more worth than personal fulfillment.

So I became a teacher and a writer. Heck, I always clicked with academics, helping people out made me feel good and I kinda found I had a knack working with, and writing for, kids. The idea that there’s some sort of oath of poverty aspect to our profession kinda rankles me but I also know that when I chat with high end lawyers, real estate richies or whatever, they are kinda rankled by the lack of personal meaning they find in their work. The money fulfills them but not to the top and their souls so, so often cry for “more to this in life, no?”

I believe people need to give. It’s woven into our DNA and quite possibly, our national lack of focus on giving these past few decades (we are a nation of rapacious takers in so, so many ways doing for ourselves first and foremost — might I cite Wall Street, Enron, Wal-Mart, Big Oil, etc…) might prove to be a calamity with a spectacular silver lining.

The real stimulus of the stimulus package might be to stimulate people to, as Joseph Campbell once said, “Follow their passion“.

Goodness knows that as a teacher, I try to pass this lesson on to my own students. Be careful what you wish for because if you only chase the money that might be all you end up with. For a kid hypnotized by the bling-bling of life, it’s a tough sell. (Especially, when you work with kids in poverty.) But planting the seed might very well be good enough. I mean I didn’t become a teacher right out of college — I spent years traveling, failing as a writer, drifting and so on. In many ways I was a late bloomer.

But eventually the seed that was once planted saw the light. Following what really drives me has made all the difference to my life.

And I know I am not alone. After all, if you are reading this right now, in some way you are most probably cut from the same philosophical cloth.

Teaching might not balloon your bank account but it can certainly balloon the positive stuff of your soul. And really, who doesn’t like balloons?